sze-fan's senseless scribblings

Tread carefully

2012-01-07T03:15:00.004+08:00

To go, to stop or to back off?

Tread carefully.

Some steps might bring you there but there are many which might may betray you.

How did you end up here in the first place?

At the Crossroads

2011-11-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

I am here.

I am afraid to budge.

I want to get there.

But actually, where is there?

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way should go; I will guide you with My eye.”

-Psalm 32:8

Friendship and Complication

2011-11-28T22:32:00.001+08:00

Is it even possible? What would You want me to do? I need You to guide my steps.

words

2011-11-17T01:46:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all.

the light

2011-06-14T21:31:00.002+08:00

Did you know that the Light came before the sun?

The sun shines on both the righteous and the wicked.

There are sacrifices to be made when you want to live in the Light.

Lord, help me to live in the Light and please grant me the willingness to make the sacrifices required. I need You.

It's full moon. Again. :)

Forgive

2011-06-12T00:45:00.001+08:00

Forgiveness is not about trusting the person again or forgetting everything that happened. It's about letting go and letting God.

Left out?

2011-06-12T00:41:00.000+08:00

“Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (CEV)

When you are feeling neglected, overlooked, or ignored, what is your natural reaction? It depends on your personality, but you will probably either want to withdraw and take the approach of “you ignore me and I’ll ignore you,” or you’ll seek out a way to get that person’s attention. Either way, it’s all about you.

God wants you to choose a different reaction. With his controlled power, he wants you to make the gentle choice to focus on others. If you’re feeling neglected, chances are somebody else is feeling that way too, and you have the opportunity to do something for him or her because you can empathize.

Finding someone to encourage will get you out of the downward spiral of self-pity; you are now looking out for others and seeking to make a difference in their lives.

As today’s verse tells us, it’s important to look for someone who most other people wouldn’t encourage. A lot of people like to encourage or help powerful people because it might give them a leg up on something. But God wants us to “encourage anyone who feels left out” and “help those who are weak” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 CEV).

Who do you need to encourage? Take a moment to consider someone you know who might be feeling neglected or overlooked. Maybe it’s somebody in your office, school or neighborhood.

Then take some time to follow Hebrews 10:24 and “think of ways to encourage one anther to outbursts of love and good deeds” (NLT). Maybe write them a quick note or take them out to lunch.

Those small acts have the power to change not only their lives, but yours as well. Instead of turning inward and allowing neglect to eat away at you, turn outward and use God’s power in your life to serve others. It’s ministry, it’s powerful, and it makes a difference.

- So hard to do but yet so true.

irony

2011-02-11T23:38:00.001+08:00

why am i afraid to show that i care?

why is it so hard to do what i want to do at times?

I've rehearsed it so many times in my head but it just went wrong at the right time.

I-R-O-N-Y.

tacky phrase

2010-06-25T16:50:00.002+08:00

"I think you've got one of my ribs."

"I think one of your ribs belongs to me."

hold my hand

2010-04-11T00:45:00.002+08:00

I no longer feel empty now, because you are holding my hand.
Accompanying me through times of pain, times of joy, times of stoning...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I love you, Bonia! :P

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Holidays ending. Did not complete ANY work. shucks! :( *naikgila*

lil bird

2010-03-23T11:37:00.005+08:00

Was on the way to the library when i saw amira near the field, bending down like she's trying to find something under the bushes. Wanted to help her. so i kaypo-edly went over and asked what she was up to. She told me she was looking for worms to feed a pitiful-looking baby bird she saw underneath a tree. It got separated from its mother.

In the end, she found a baby snail. She tried to make the baby bird eat it. But the baby thinks it doesn't look appetizing. Moreover, its beak can't really reach inside the shell. So, Amira wanted to scrape the meat out with a chopstick but I told her the chopstick is too fat to reach into the shell too.

She then decided to scrape the snail meat out with her bare fingers. She took out a black long stringy thing from the shell and kind heartedly fed it to the lil bird who should be very hungry by then. The bird took some parts of it. After a few seconds later, Amira looked at me and said she hope the thing on her hands wasn't the snail poo.

so cute-lah! :P

*very amused*

why do people try to keep something that willl fly away in the end?

michelle... michelle...

2010-01-10T12:54:00.006+08:00

What is Michelle like? I shall allow u to peep into her (life) a bit.

The other day, she went to Queensbay with her sister who wanted to go to the maxis centre for some reasons but didn't know where it was. Michelle wanted to go popular for other reasons too. So they both went to popular first. When Michelle was waiting to pay for stuff at the cashier, she asked her sister to go to the big directory in front of dave's deli to check where the maxis centre was. Her sister went out obediently and came back in less than 2 minutes to say that the place was just next to popular. *ahem*

Soooooo, together they went to maxis. Michelle wanted to change her basic prepaid plan to youth club plan. She told the girl at the counter that she tried for almost 5 times but simply couldn't change her plan. She confirmed with the girl that she has more than 15 dollars credit as changing of prepaid plan requires a charge of 8 dollars. The girl asked for her full name, IC number, phone number and various details. Then, Michelle gave the girl the phone to help her with the process. The girl, after fidgeting with her phone for few minutes, looked up at her intently, then showed her the phone screen which stated, "Hotlink Youth Club. Balance: RM24.70"... She was also smiling very sweetly
:)

*embarassing* lol

100th post

2009-12-15T02:33:00.002+08:00

WOW. this is my 100th post. LOL.

happy 100th post to my bloggie!!!

it's funny.
how i used to blog about happier things, random stuffs i did.
now i only have the mood to blog mostly when i need to express my negative feelings.
people change.
looks like some good changes actually did come with some bad effects. lol.

"when you get something, you also lose something else."
so true.

the strings

2009-12-09T00:48:00.002+08:00

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8

God is cutting away many support strings that I was depending on all these while.
I know He has His reasons. He shall be my anchor. :)

victor, not a victim :)

2009-11-13T16:05:00.002+08:00

i have been thinking... about you...
why do you do the things you know you shouldn't?
why don't you set the barrier for yourself earlier?
why don't you heed my advice?
why don't the flaring signs go into your head?

why do you make me suffer along with you now?
should i blame you? or should i blame myself?
LOL.

anyway, i will be a victor, not a victim.
maybe it is good that i asked after all.
then you wouldn't have to wait and keep doing the things that will bear any result.
maybe you would have been hurt deeper.
at least, you felt relieved after that.
thanks for teaching me to be more cautious.
i left my guard down against people who i thought was supposedly i'm safe against.
i should have listened to my parents.
(So, please listen to YOUR parents. though their advices may seem unnecessary or even unreasonable at first.)

though i suffer now, i trust that this will not last.
though i feel betrayed, i know that the best has yet to come.
i KNOW this will be for the better in the long term.

;)

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Songs of Solomon 2 : 7

An exciting morning

2009-10-28T09:56:00.003+08:00

I woke up late today, about 9 am.
After that, i went to my uncle's cafe and had breakfast.

When i came home, i saw two indian youths outside the houise door within the house compound.
I then asked them loudly what were they doing here.
Then they paused a while and took out an empty campap book and said that they wanted to sell it. They then immediately asked me if there were anyone else in the house.

And i replied sternly i am not interested in their business of selling empty campap books.
They left quickly after i turned down their offer.

When i wanted to open the door, i saw that there was a foreign and strange looking key in the keyhole.

Then only i realized, " ohhh... they wanted to break in." LOL.
And my cousin was sleeping still in the living hall, unaware of his surroundings. what a p*g :P
The shoe cabinet was opened widely, but apparently the shoes were below their "taste".
They also left a plastic bag filled with weird stuff like metallic balls, hooks, net and scissors.
And so i concluded, they may be fishermen who grew bored of fishing and wanted to invite themselves into other people's houses for a change? If not, it doesn't make sense.
I don't know how u can use metallic balls, hooks, net and scissors to break into houses.
The worst thing was, they said "thank you, aunty" before leaving -______-

Thank God for His protection. His grace is enough. I'm living on His promises everyday. :)
God bless! Have a fruiftul day ahead! :D

Examsss

2009-10-27T17:01:00.002+08:00

Matthew 11: 28-30

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

He really spoke to me through this verse. Through someone else who showed me this verse and also when i did my devotion alone on that same day. Praise God!

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Things happened so fast. So many miracles. God truly has His own perfect timing.
Shall elaborate further after exams :P
Learning to be disciplined and wait on Him.
Lots of distractions also came subsequently after those miracles but I thank God for peace.
The peace that surpasses all understanding.

My exams are on the 3rd, 4th , 6th and 9th November. (very packed schedule as you can see)
AYA's on the 8th November!
Will be going back penang on 22nd November :)

Pray for me yah!
All the best to others who'll also be having exams.
WIll uphold you guys in prayer too.

Forwarded email: "How can I discern whether I am in a healthy or abusive fellowship?"

2009-10-08T21:05:00.002+08:00

Abusive fellowships are often the most exciting Christian gatherings around
filled with dedicated, committed, enthusiastic leaders and members. Do
not let enthusiasm and sincerity be the basis for approval. More often than
not, abusive fellowships cannot be recognized by mere outward appearance. By
discrediting facts, the leaders of such gatherings control information.
Leaders may deny these practices -- or marginalize them in some way. It is
important to investigate any fellowship thoroughly.

Abusive fellowships often change the meaning of words. In these fellowships,
"unity" commonly means agreement with the leaders opinions. Members are
often told that they are "out of unity" when they disagree with the leaders'
opinions. Healthy fellowships understand that true unity means that

There is one body and one Spirit -- just as you were called to one hope when
you were called -- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of
all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4)

Every healthy fellowship will have disagreements, and yet be in unity in the
Biblical sense as brothers and sisters in Christ.

In healthy fellowships members commonly maintain friendships when friends
leave the group. Abusive fellowships tend to view almost everyone who leaves
as a backslider and they view most other Christians as not committed or
saved. Healthy fellowships do not consistently tell derogatory stories about
those who leave.

In healthy fellowships the leaders prove themselves to be trustworthy in
order to be trusted. In abusive fellowships the leaders must be trusted
because they are the leaders. To not trust them is to sin.

In healthy fellowships we are admonished to imitate the Christ-like virtues
seen in others. In abusive fellowships the leaders are imitated in many more
ways than just their virtues. In fact, members take on many of the personal
characteristics (personality) of the leaders in a manner that appears
unseemly. This is particularly true of those being groomed for "ministry."

        
  In healthy fellowships commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ, and to Apostolic
teaching, is absolutely necessary. In abusive fellowships members must be
equally committed to the group and to its practices and peculiar beliefs.
Some even have members sign "covenant" documents, much like marriage vows.

In healthy fellowships we are exhorted to obey clear Biblical mandates. In
abusive fellowships we are exhorted (or pressured) to obey the leaders'
opinions --even when our conscience says "no."

In healthy fellowships the confession of sins and "bearing of one another's
burdens" is a personal matter that takes place in the context of a larger
"family" relationship with other Christians. In abusive fellowships sins are
exposed by (or to) leaders and pressure is often applied to confess to the
group.

In healthy fellowships secrecy and independence in personal matters --
before God -- are acceptable as long as sins are confessed in private. In
abusive fellowships secrecy or independence in personal affairs are scorned,
and all areas of life are to be exposed -- even those that do not touch
moral issues.

In healthy fellowships we are encouraged to love and bless our enemies. In
abusive fellowships showing hatred for our enemies and speaking defamatory
of them is acceptable. And often the occasion for "rallying the troops."

Abusive leaders seldom practice this scripture:

"...when ridiculed, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered we
respond gently..." (1 Cor 4:12, 13)

Matt. 18:15
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between
the two of you.

1 Timothy 5:19, 20
Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two
or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the
others may take warning.

In healthy fellowships Matthew 18:15 applies to every member without
distinction -- you are to go to your brother or sister alone -- while 1st
Timothy 5:19-20 (a stricter standard) applies to leaders. In abusive
fellowships Matthew 18:15 applies to leaders -- you are to deal with them
alone -- instead of 1st Timothy 5:19-20. These latter verses are often
ignored, thus preventing two or three from EVER bringing an accusation
against a leader in error.

Non-abusive leaders rebuke members only for grave public sins, as a last
resort (Matthew 18:17). Abusive leaders often publicly rebuke or ostracize
members who simply disagree with leaders' opinions. Usually vis-à-vis sermon illustrations or applications, etc.

Non-abusive leaders do not encourage people to leave the fellowships because
of differences of opinion. Abusive leaders often assume the right --
unilaterally -- to tell or encourage members who do not agree with leaders'
opinions to leave the fellowship.

Non-abusive leaders do not view members as "lacking spiritually" simply
because they do not participate in numerous fellowship activities. Abusive
leaders view as "spiritually lacking" those who fail to attend most all
their fellowship activities. Some even mandate the number of meetings
members MUST attend.

              
  Non-abusive leaders do not discourage members from reading information
critical about the group. Abusive leaders often control negative information
about the group by either discrediting it or by dissuading members not to
read it.

Non-abusive leaders do not judge your hearts, but they leave that to God.
Abusive leaders constantly judge hearts, motives, and intents. They
basically assume -- rather, usurp -- the place of God.
   

--------------------------------------------------------------
 Note: This has been adapted from the pamphlet Discerning A Healthy Church,
 ©1998 Control Techniques, Inc. For more information, or to obtain a copy of
 the original, unedited version, they can be reached at:

 Control Techniques, Inc.
 P. O. Box 8021
 Chattanooga, TN 37141-8021

on priorities

2009-09-30T17:25:00.003+08:00

i really dislike politics.

and it is happening everywhere.

even in places you least expect.

i just don't understand why are we dwelling on such petty things.

when there are greater things to be done.

what is your priority?

your authority? your fame? your power? your ego?

wake up! whatever happened to accountability and integrity?

pacific tsunami happened an hour ago. so many lost souls.

what are we doing? THINK!

the clock is ticking.

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" God's purpose for the church is to reach out to others, not to be happy and comfortable just by 'doing church' every Sunday." - Pastor Kenneth

happies birthdayss <3

2009-09-12T20:15:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to both my siblings!

my sister's brithday falls on the 11th sept while my brother's birthday is on 13th sept.

so i chose 12th sept to post this up. fair fair ma. :P

thank God for blessing me with them! ;)

I love them.

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World Changers' Academy just ended. Datuk Tony Tiah (Founder of TA Enterprise) and Datuk Edward Ong (Founder of Sutera Harbour Resorts) came to speak.

inspiring and really eye-opening.

These are really people of faith! *respect*

So rich yet so humble.

God answers prayers!

my cousin who was very skeptical about Christianity and debated with me a lot, said that God may have been showing him signs of His existence!

i'm so excited about what God can do. :)

"In order to be a World Changer, you must first be a God chaser."

"The main obstacle of getting success is staying in our own comfort zones."

"Hearing God's voice is not a gift, it needs practice and depends on intimacy."

"Human's wisdom is foolishness in God's eyes."

car wash~

2009-09-08T00:32:00.004+08:00

washed two cars in two hours! woohhoo! *semangat* with the help of cousin.

it was already dark when we finished.

please remind me to take picture of my car tmr morning before i go uni!

because.. i kiam siap wanan save 2 bucks everyday and park at the free muddy car park area.

so have to take pic to prove that i actually did wash my car loh!

some ppl complained my car looks dirty TT (save water, cannot wash too often too *ahem* *excuses*)

thanks for cousin who helped.

I told him, "don't cry when you see my car tmr" :P

he even scrubbed the tyres lol.

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"Your ministry is not your life.

Your life is your ministry."

just thankful

2009-09-04T01:01:00.003+08:00

I like this pic!

few ppl reaallly thought that this was a phone advert.

wenhao wanted to apply to be my manager. anyone else interested can apply and pay a minimum fee of RM87654667890 :P

btw i did not POSE for this pic. it was taken when i REALLY had to pick up a phone call in the midst of the photo shoot. I did not PURPOSELY wear diff clothes. Borrowed my cousin my shirt d ler..

I like the white background! :)

I like the fact that I looked like i was trying to ss but in fact, I was not XD

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thank you for the breakfast (abelkengchengwai) and sandwiches (ccfoo aka puffer fish) and for helping me finsih one of the sandwiches (tty aka siao po).

thanks for all who went to cf yesterday. thanks for 'bei min' to me :P

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"When Faith comes in, Wisdom has to step down."

"God can use a teachable spirit better than our talents."

safe and sound :)

2009-08-31T22:15:00.002+08:00

first of all, wanna thank my friend for the ride back :)

lol.

summary.

he dreamt.

she felt led to pray.

we met.

stopped.

(long while)

then back home safely.

God saved my life.

and i thank Him for His protection (miracle also)!

amen.

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one day, i hope you will realize that what you thought was fate is actually not fate. but the hands of God working.

sad but true :(

2009-08-22T23:19:00.002+08:00

There was this two planets, Mars and Venus. Men came from Mars and women from Venus. Creatures on both planets built spaceships that enable them to travel and they finally met each other. They fell in love, were willing to accept all their differences and flaws.

Both men and women then migrated to live on a planet called Earth. The air on Earth was toxic. After a while, they started having expectations and demands on each other. The air has polluted their minds. Their love for each other was fading, tempers rose, impatience ruled. They took each other for granted. Their hatred for one another grew. Finally, they could not take more of each other and went back to their own planets.

After arriving at their own planets, the toxic air from Earth was exhausted. Their minds were finally cleared from its detrimental effects. They started to regret and lived very lonely lives after that.

meteor rain

2009-08-13T01:03:00.002+08:00

there's news that there will be sightings of meteor rain in Malaysian skies early in the morning.

i am lazy to wait for it. lol. though it doesn't happen everyday.

i was hoping my friend could freeze the movements of the meteors for me through his photographs.

so i can still make wishes.

and get to make wishes whenever and wherever. *greedyyy* XD

"Life is an uncertainty but death is a certainty. Do you have any idea where you'll be going if there's no tomorrow?"

lately..

2009-08-12T15:04:00.003+08:00

i was quiet.

now, i'm even quieter...

sorry to those whom i scared away lol. i just don't feel like myself lately.

i am michelle i am emo i am cool (lol uncle came cha luan while i was in library)

maybe God is teaching me to depend on Him more. not to depend so much on worldly help.

for He is the Rock on whom i can put my trust and hope. :) smile for myself lol

i am unreachable..

2009-08-10T20:05:00.005+08:00

lost contact with the rest of the world.

feel so lonely.

PS: that ugly drawing is not mine =P
lol i am not so free still can go paint.
btw, the small black thing is supposed to be a phone.
actually not enuf time to make it look more matured lah.
3 assignments await me!! all due this week! WOOHOO~

..........................................................................................................................................................................
yes.. i lost my phone!

my cousin's phone actually ><

mine was spoilt so i took his extra phone.

pray that i will be able to find it somehow.

if not have to buy him back one.

but thank God it's a lower end phone. not too expensive. =)

pray for me!

tic-tac-toe

2009-07-27T22:47:00.003+08:00

this is actually not about tic-tac-toe. haha.

give name for fun only. it's my 3rd post in a row! woohoo~

just wanna boast that i baked carrot cake with my aunty on saturday. cousin said it's nice but i think ok only. *mental reminder: need to put cream cheese on top next time*

today i made kiamhutauhukiamchaicarrottomatochicken soup. not bad for a first timer. but that's because my aunty helped lah. haih.

enuf updates for now. haven't started any assignment at all. sei lor. ><

the gifts :)

2009-07-27T22:12:00.004+08:00

my friends are too generous. lol.

just went back there holiday also got gifts. haha. i am very blessed. amen!

thank you all! but no need to trouble yourselves next time yeah ;) you are much appreciated! i just need your time and presence in my life is enough. haha. but birthday time then different lahh i won't mind one. =P haha kidding.

souvenirS from brunei by CC. sorry, just left this one. my cousin already finished the other chocs. lol. thx for the aussie milo too. very strong milky taste. i like the very cute tin most. hehe.

thanks to thomson for this wonderful book. am using it for my devotion now. btw he has curtsy handwriting, quite nice and neat for a guy lah.

thx to yivern for the jay chou's piano scores =)

A bookmark and adorable magnetic dog from my cousin Shin Yih. you might think he's very sweet and all but is just ganti balas for all the times he hit me and bullied me physically, mentally, emotionally. =P hahhaa. nolah, he's a good cousin just that sometimes too playful and hands itchy. i became his toy or more accurately, medium at which he can express his feelings at. (okay, i know this sounds wrong..) Anyway, i also became clever! i threatened him with chocolates (his greatest weakest) and also bannd him from touching my keyboard if he bullies me more than 3 times a day. (see, i am not so heartless, still give some allowances lol).

i said i miss tze hui. happy d? =P

the holidays :D

2009-07-21T23:25:00.007+08:00

my 3 weeks in penang were fantastic!

i was happy to meet my family members! became sis' tuition teacher *aiseh* and also bro's babysitter when mum was away for the hokkien camp. <3

thanks to those who made an effort to come meet me, sacrificed their sleeping time, got scolded by their parents for going out too much, brought me out kai kai and fetched me everywhere.

this time round, went out the most with felicia and thomson. thomson who had to sleep very late every night (as he is working night shifts) and wake up early to teman us. felicia too made time for me though her exams were just round the corner. so touched so touched! :)

i attended room 77! :D

i went to the men's fellowship badminton tournament. XD

congrats to kyan for passing both ielts and imu exams. got a free japanese meal. =P

i got to meet the loh wey fats and the big one. play badminton also so siao. they play till very tired (due to too much laughters) and had to sleep in the courts (which has no air ventilation at all) in the end. =.= yes, they are a crazy bunch of girls.

i went to yi wei's house and overnight. she can play better piano than me now ><>

yivern got dengue and went to visit her 2 times in the hospital as she was sleeping the first time we went visit. she was totally unaware of it. wanted to surprise her... went to queensbay and watched ice age 3 instead. very enjoyable, much better than the 1st and 2nd movie. oh ya, we brought her honey stars and yoghurt and got paper and pen from the nurses. left her a note and signed our names as 'santa clauses'. fun fun~ :P

i met miss lai when i was having family dinner in harvest in restaurant, celebrating parents' wedding anniversary. she kinda scolded me for not telling her. *aww..* shows that she still misses me. XD arranged to meet on friday but then her son was sick so have to meet her next round.

went for dim sum at balihai with church people. they were late as usual =P except for adrian and shir hoay. but considered quite good d. can reach at 8.45am. haha. i ate a lot :/ vivi cheh made me :( haha.

haih. tak jadi by starbucks bottle in penang. too lil choices lah. need to wait for summer edition.

just wish both my friends, wei kwong and colin, all the best in the land of the koalas :D take care there! come back more often lah.

there are still some people i didn't get to meet this time, hope i get to meet them next time round lah. don't ppk again ok! lol.

felt this holiday quite meaningful. got to know a few people better, became closer with them especially my cousin win nie, ee joo and thomson.

yivern came to my house and sent me off before i took bus back to KL ALONE. lol. got to play with her cute dog Theodore, first time got so near to a dog and carressed its fur. luckily it doesn't like to lick much.

some of my uni friends also came to visit penang. didn't manage to spend much time with them as transportation was a problem but still, got to bring them to mizzi for dinner. got to know some of them better although we had been in the same classes for more than a year =P nice bunch of people.

PS: sorry if i missed out anything. tell me okay? =)

*cough**cough*

2009-06-02T10:26:00.003+08:00

been coughing for more than 2 weeks already. (but thank God no flu XP)
i'm safe, don't need to keep a distance away from me.
been trying many different kinds of medicine, from chinese to western, almost 6 different medicines? =__=

yayy i had the chance to try a cough syrup that is kiwi in flavour! very sweet!
me likey 875456789876678685566789867 times more than the yucky, ewwy, horrible, despicable normal brown coloured cough syrup! (though i had to finish one bottle, me feeling pukey even thinking about it ><)

family came over for 5 days. they gave me a lot of motivation, made me very happy, and can eat a lot GOOD EXPENSIVE FOOD =P
a lot of motivtion lah i tell you.. except the motivation to study TT
cousin working now, nobody to teman me study at home *sob* *self-pity*
scared of studying alone lah, something disturbing happened yesterday even when i was with my sis. *ughhhhhhh* feel like vomitting again.

yayy family made cheese tarts yesterday after a good homecooked bak kut teh. =)
then me and cousin been making cheese cakes, we have already made strawberry and oreo ones.
successful! can teach my mum d next time. lol.

me need to concentrate on studies now. NEED TO! MUST!
kinda regret for not preparing earlier. and now can't really find the mood to study. *pfttt*
study mooodddd.... come backkk!! i miss youu too long already! :(
(red font for more sense of urgency)

living with the consequences

2009-05-21T21:02:00.004+08:00

we do things. we don't think. we regret. we live with the consequences.

to a certain someone, thanks for being so gracious. it was always me hurting you. yet you kept forgiving and kept getting hurt somemore. thanks for always being there for me. now i regret. it's too late i guess. maybe i will not get to see you for a very very long time. take care. and may you have a good life. God bless!

and yes, i will miss you. a lot.

His grace

2009-05-21T17:33:00.005+08:00

Who am I?

That the Eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love

And watch me rise again

Who am I?

That the Voice that calm the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling,

Lord You catch me when I'm falling,

You told me who I am.

I am Yours.

-Who Am I?- by Casting Crowns

cross my heart

2009-05-12T19:39:00.002+08:00

.. and hope to die.

sorry a million billion trillion times for the unfeelingness of me.

sorry for some things, sorry for the little things, sorry for everything.

i went over border with this unfunny 'joke' of mine.

sorry if it caused you much distress.

hope all things will be well with you.

where the hell did i left my brains? ><

I AM SINCERELY SORRY.

trip to puchong worth RM134

2009-04-27T22:02:00.006+08:00

the trip was unplanned. totally. lol.

in the morning, i went for breakfast with my cousin at a noodles restaurant nearby. then we talked talked and talked. until a tow truck stopped right in front of our car we also didn't notice. we were sitting outside and yet we didn't realize. =.= next time cannot talk too much and must be more aware if we double park our car.

by the time we came to realization (which is after paying for our food) we saw that some MPSJ guys fastening some lock onto the car wheels behind their tow truck. we were shocked as this was ONLY the first time for both of us. haha. (one time enough also lah, wallet bleeding d lol)

the guy asked us to sit on the car and follow their truck all the way to puchong to pay for the fine.

i was kinda worried, sad and guilty at the same time. as it was me who talked so much until we became oblivious to our surroundings. anyway, my cousin just comforted me and said that what has happened has happened. just enjoy the process as we are going to pay so much for the experience. haha.

therefore, a lil camwhoring resulted. =P

we looked at the sun in a whole different angle *exaggerating* XD but it was pretty and kinda amazing view. like how the sun broke through the thick patches of dark clouds. how everything down here looks so bright, we don't even notice the dark clouds. (please ignore my crapping, just pretending to be artistic =P)

yayy. long time since i camwhored XD

my happy-go-lucky favourite cousin! =) i enjoy sticking around with him.

evidence.

lied down so nobody can see me from outside. kinda embarassing. hahhaa.

reclaiming the car in puchong.

had a fun and exciting time. experiences like this doesn't come cheap ya know *winks*

there's something to add. my cousin told me that his brother also got his car towed before. it was days before he knew that his car was held captive by the MPSJ. too bad he didn't get to enjoy the ride like we did and had to go worrying about the whereabouts of his car for days. haha!

and even funnier is the car was towed from in front of INTI to just like 2 buildings away. LOL. and he had to pay RM150. LOLOL. boh tatt. hahaa. okay. i am evil =P

the fire

2009-04-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

woohoo! i watched "fireproof" till about 2am this morning. hahha. coz i was not bothered with my genetics report (too lazy to change anything and do much more work) neither did i have to do sci. don't kill me please =P

surprisingly, i overslept =.= normally i do work whole night slept 3 hours also will not oversleep. sweat. somemore, i slept three times yesterday, had my afternoon nap and a nap at night before watching the movie. LOL. terrible ><

she is trapped in a fire. she's caught in the middle. too many valuable and precious things that she holds dear in that little hut. she has a difficult choice to make. now, she doesn't care if she gets scorched trying to save them. she will try salvaging the little pieces. even if it means her death. her death to her self.

unforgiveness is like poison. it posions your soul and your mind. it clouds your thinking. and make you do unreasonable things.

therefore, i too, must forgive. =)

just another busy week

2009-04-19T18:39:00.004+08:00

yes, this week will be super crazy and hectic.

there is a microbiology test on tuesday which i have just started studying for.

and microbiology lab report which i have not started on due on wednesday.

and another biochemistry assignment which i have no idea of what it is all about.

God bless me.

well, i know that by the end of friday, i will just heave a huge sigh of relief and say, "it's just like any other weeks." =)

i pray for peace. and joy. and guidance. and wisdom. and divine intervention (for my aunt too).

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there is someone whom i am very grateful to, but at the same time feel very apologetic to her.

sorry i made you buy the chicken and kept it so long in the freezer and forced you to bring it back to KL. i am deeply sorry. sorry for being so dense. haha.

anyway, jiayou to you too! we can make it through this week, just like any other weeks. haha. maybe we'll come out like zombies but nevermind =P

okay. i officially owe you a java chip. bring you to starbucks next time okayy. and mcD ice cream also. hahhaa. (sun bian help another person pay his debts XD)

Tan Tee Yee, thanks for everything, including your patience. =) *muax*

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There is also a someone else who is sad, blur and lost these days, although i don't know what it is about, but i sincerely hope she'll be up and about soon. take care ya. =)

Last but not least, i hope bea will do well in her exams this term as she worked REALLY hard for it. lol. she amazes me with her determination and hard work. all the best dear. =)

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i surrender ALL to Him. =) yes, i notice this (=)) is everywhere LOL

i want plastic surgery :(

2009-03-26T07:31:00.013+08:00

Few days ago, i just found out from my friends how scary i was before they get to know me. =.=

they say i proud wor. say i look scary, serious and fierce. too cool. too quiet. LOL WTHE.

ehhh... actually i am definitely not proud loh!(you can ask my friends) haih so misunderstood =(.

actually, i'm very shy and don't really dare to talk to strangers, much less approach someone to get to know the person >< ishhh ="">

how i wish i can get plastic surgery. make myself look less scary, less quiet and EVERYTHING! lol wthe. maybe should just carve a smile on my face to look friendly like joker's. hahhaa.

*shudders* ><

anyway the plastic surgery stuff was all just a joke lah. not even considering it! so painful!

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oh yeah! i saw REAL SNOW FLAKES!!! two days ago in monash KL! hahha. for those who didn't trust me and look, rugilah you all coz no need buy so expensive air ticket to US also can see snow flakes hehhee. sam tong or not?! =P

duriansss runtuh

2009-03-13T12:42:00.009+08:00

Sorry for the late post. I must say that I'm very blessed with generous people around me. THANKS!!! <3 you all =)

my first FIRST CLASS international mail from siao po =)

my multipurpose card (4 greetings : Birthday, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year) haha.

yay. sea coral fan! ;)

Meet Mitch, my favourite snowman all the way from US, also from siao po.

He went to San Francisco but couldn't get me the 'I Love SF' shirt, but it's okay. I wanna go get it with them next time.

hint: SF are my initials.

hmm... ;D

Ahhh.. my first feminine purse (LOL) from siao po again.

I like the price tag. XOXO.

Merci chocolates all the way from Brunei, which is finishing fast (cousin kept sneaking them away from the fridge TT) Thanks CC! and eclipse chewing gums (in my favourite spearmint flavour)

A cute mug from Kelly. DO take care in Australia yeahh. =D Thanks for giving me your mm seh tak mug ><

Belated birthday present from dear Tze Hui.

Another belated birthday present (my new baby!) from Shanq Yeet and Shin Yih. cost them a fortune TT.

*sigh* what did I do to deserve them?

only a piece of my mind

2009-02-20T15:14:00.004+08:00

i'm disappointed.

my sixth sense proved me right. although i wished it to be the other way.
it's better if had't known anything, i could just go wth the flow and not be so disappointed.
what did you say? a good leader should be a good follower? please practise what you preach.
can you act rationally and not be blinded by your own emotions?
do you think for others? well, sure.. you (still) look good on the outside (to those who have no idea). i followed you blindly together with many others who 'worship' you.
well, what more can i say?
there's nothing i can do to change anything.
anyway, i'll still submit to the leadership.

do not ask me about this matter. it's off-limits. lol thanks for respecting my privacy.

A prayer

2009-02-17T00:04:00.004+08:00

Thank you Lord for putting such an impossible person in my life path.
So stubborn, egoistic and hypocryptic,
but through this, You taught me how to be patient and forgiving.
It even showed me how patient You were with me all these while,
for I am not much better than that person,
and the thought of You having to face the disappoinments caused by ALL the ones You love shatters me.
I thank you that Your grace is always sufficient.
And help me, Lord, not to hurt you anymore.
Grant me the strength to endure, wisdom to overcome.

Celebrating Valentine's Day

2009-02-16T23:33:00.002+08:00

Celebrated V day with family, we drove all the way up to Batu Feringghi, right to where my parents' first dating place was, the very special place where all the love began (their first dating place) in Lone Pine.

That's half of my body on the hammock, very comfortable. didn't want to go down the beach (dirty shoes).Lone Pine, taken while lying on the hammock still.

Four people (no prize for guessing who they are) admiring the skies and parachute.

A farther view.

The fruit of their love =)

I am single and very happy. =D

"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment" - Joshua Harris

penawar untuk ke-boring-an

2009-01-23T18:23:00.004+08:00

The first few days (or should i say week) was very borin in Island Hospital. They wouldn't let me do anything initially because all the things are quite serious and there should not be any errors in the results lah (meaning VERY SERIOUS WAN LO IF MAKE MISTAKE) so i go kacau a few ppl, sms them non-stop when i'm bored lah. THANKS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO ENTERTAINED ME! XD if not, i don't know how i'm able to survive loh *shudders*

Well, my very cheeky cousin who normally hits me a lot (playfully lah) and of course, i hit him back. Hard. =P He suddenly send me a very *ahem* touching sms, so of course i have to put it here loh.

*Please ignore some wrong grammar, I would like to keep it as original as possible*

"When you have to wake up early to work when all others are sleeping soundly,
Be happy because somone already woke up (or haven't sleep TT) waiting to wish you a good morning. XP

When your work is bored, don't worry, someone will be eagerly waiting to chat wit you =P.

When your live get tough, don't be sad cuz there are 2 ears that always open willingly for you =)

But if you want money, you might not see me anywhere anymore. Wakakaka XD (kidding)

Wish to see you soon!"

anyway, i chose to post this up first because i lazy to think of things to write, this one copy paste only mah! hehe jk.

i have a job now

2009-01-02T19:41:00.003+08:00

(i miss them both TT)

sounds cool right? lol. actually it's not a real job lah, student attachment with island hopsital. will be touching ppl's urine, stool, pus and a lot a lot of bacteria. so excited! (really?) lol.

today was my first day there. to be truthful, quite boring lah coz i only got to observe the pros doing their stuff and watch from 9am to 3pm.. thank God for smses if not i don't know how to survive those 5 hours with nothing to do (need to minus one hour for lunch).

well, hope i will benefit a lot and learn much more stuff during my 2 months of work. will be woking 6 days a week lah, sien. no more tiao ka at home, watching movies and playing badminton. sob. but one thing's for sure, i think i would slim down lo (coz only one hour of lunch).

i wish me all the best! =) and blessed 2009 to all of you!

i neeeeeeeeeeed to thank those who wished me (through blog esp. siao po who wrote super duper long and cheong hei-ly, sms, e-mail, card, frenster, facebook or snail mail) and gave me presents on my birthday. I wannnnt you to know that you are very very much appreciated! THANK YOU!

*imaginary big hugs and kisses*

snail mails!

2008-12-17T00:33:00.006+08:00

received two snail mails on yesterday alone! =) so happy lahh.

seldom got ppl send letters the traditionally (and more meaningful, uh sim way)

THANK YOU!!! =D

she made me jealous of postman because she write at the back 'thanks mr or mrs or miss postman (woman)! have a nice day!' is much much longer than the 'happy new year 2009' she wrote for me inside. oh well but it's from other country wor. counted got heart lah! =) thanks girl!

the front part so cute lah!

it's very pretty considering it's made by two guys! LOL

this other card is totally unexpected. my cousins from kl first time write letter leh!!! woots! i'm so lucky lahh somemore it's homemade, they cut and paste everything so nice lahh. hehe. thanks boys! =) i'll be waiting for my PRO badminton racquet!!

PS: it took me more than half an hour to upload these three pics =.=

je t'aime

2008-12-17T00:04:00.007+08:00

no, i did not put the wrong title for this post and please don't feel cheated LOL

yes, i love you so i want you to come for a christmas drama in dewan sri penang. you can read the details for yourself in the above picture =) do come! you'll enjoy it! contact me if you interested to come! (see the words 'free admission'? XD) zenxern i'm not selling tickets ok lol

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i love my family.

I love my daddy.

I love my mummy.

I love my sister.

I love my brother. =)

random but i feel the need to put it down lol.

pictures from floral fest

2008-12-06T23:56:00.012+08:00

Pictures as promised lol. all are unphotoshopped and original taken by yours truly. I put this up to prove someone wrong XD

I saw it. You have no idea how much it hurts. DON'T ASK ME WHAT IT IS. It is like plunging a blunt knife into my heart, trying to stab it in over and over again to make sure it goes through the cardiac muscle, passing all my connective tissues into the cold cruel air. lol. I will get it right. I need your grace God. and to someone, I'm sorry I failed terribly and may have hurt you many times. I'm not trying to defend myself here but please feel me. please look at the matter from my perspective. sorry i have aways misunderstood you. I was stupid and ignorant to think from the responses you always give me, you've always did not give a damn about me and did not want me to draw close or even care about you. Lord, I need wisdom and strength.

floral fest

2008-11-30T22:05:00.003+08:00

i know this is a very late notice but to those who are free on the 1st and 2nd of december (which is tomorrow and the day after), please come to botanical gardens for the floral fest. I will be there in the afternoon from 12.30 to 5.00 pm. Helping my fave bio teacher Miss Lai! =)

there wil be activites such as bird watching and hiking and many more in the morning although i won't be there. lol. must come support our MNS booth yeah! buy the handmade cinammon candle holder especially! I did it one okay (only those nice ones, others not nice one is done by chiaming and shin juey =P jkjk)

see ya! =D

btw, just now went with uncle william they all to visit chiaming. he forced us to be his models LOL. what to do. can't protest coz he treated us to very nice lorong susu's chicken rice. will get the pics from him soon.

people who helped me survive a year in monash

2008-11-13T01:24:00.008+08:00

where shall i begin?

well, this post is dedicated to my group of friends who (refer to title pls). without them, i would not have passed my exams and without their help, i would have done extremely badly. they are my saviours who helped me to brave the unending waves of stupid/mind-boggling/tough/useless/whatever-you-wanna-call-it assignments, online quizzes, essays. =) thanks guys (and girls)!

Them (alphabetical order):

Chin Zen Xern (i hope you not pantang red colour ><)

Statistics pro. Maths genius. More like a gentlemen compared to other guys in the gang. But kinda cheeky at times as he loves pulling ppl's hairband out. =.= and he's the only one taking environmental science but going to australia. =(

Good luck there! and take care yeah. (can trade assignments sometimes too since we still same course with diff lecturer! XD)

I just realized i did not take any pics with her alone ><

Fimtan Prety Mareta

Happy-go-lucky. Don't have the opportunity to mix much with her as she self studies at hostel most of the time. lol.

Good luck for your this sem's exams. I believe you will do quite well this time =)

i like this pic (look at her lips!) although i look so pale in it.

Foo Chuan Ching

Was kinda scared of her at first. Didn't dare to talk to her =P but after mixing with her long, she's okay lahh.. friendly to some and one kind to others hahahhaa. but thank God she can talk to me lahh. Loves to talk about her life in Paris which is kinda interesting. She always has a lot food around her (esp beginning of the year) and loves forcing people to eat her food too =)

Won't be seeing you for about 4 months. I will miss you =) Have fun in work and do continue blogging.

Kiung Jeou Yee

Quiet at times (like me, that's what yx said =.=). Talks weird. Can really eat. Slow and steady. Kinda passive. Sometimes goes to CF with me. Overall a nice guy but needs to learn tobe more gentlemanly (LOL i'm like doing a evaluation on these ppl hahhaa whatever la =P)

Please lah. Must learn how to be a man ok =P jkjk

Lean Lee Ming

Tall. Walks like tai kor. Supplier of TVB dramas. Very hardworking although he plays hard too. Miss Elaine Chew's favourite. A little shy at times (esp during his spiderman act). Quite helpful as he helped me do my first two masteringbio quizzes XD. But still, like Jeou Yee, has to learn to be more gentlemanly lahh. (at least this one OCCASIONALLY holds the doors open for us)

Enjoy yourself in US. Take a lot of pics and please take care of your mummy TY.

Shane Tan Wei Shang

Known him since Disted days. Always excel in his studies. Fast learner. Take good pictures and i'm waiting for him to teach me how to use photoshop! =P Good body and broad shoulders. My dancing partner. His mind kinda twisted at times lol. Sometimes the things he says a bit geli lah. hahaha. But he's a very helpful person who doesn't mind sharing and teaching others.

Thanks for your help all along the way. Be a good boy in US ok and take care of the mummy also lah. And please take nice nice pictures so can show us when you're back =)

Tan Tee Yee

Siao po. We share common interests (food and typative) except for her fondness of cj7. Takes me in when I have no place to stay. Makes real nice milo (can be a good mum of elizabeth and edward or edmund). Very good memory, can remember all the dates and ppl's birthday o.O Gonna teach me swimming someday. Any problems also can find her. Very good listener and she somemore can help you scold the other person and go wack him/her up XD (that's why i like to tell her loh). Always do sat lai things (like me lah). And she's the person i chat most with on msn (the chat log full message came out i thnk 7 times d in the past 8 months LOL).

Nah, i ask your two sons to take care of you in US d. So don't complain they won't chai you ok. lol. I know I'm gonna miss you very very much =(

chose this because i don't look like your mum here =P

Tan Ying Xuan

A nice and helpful girl. Petite. With many guys chasing after her. Whole day promote me for free hahhaa. The only person in our gang who is more ladylike, knows how to wears skirts and dresses. I admire her bravery and strength in trying to overcome or ignore those things that bother her.

look forward to you joining me for services and christmas drama, hopefully you can make it =) take care yeah and be strong.

Random pictures and of course, memories..

during pc fair outside nando's

MNSM Barbeque Night

Dance lesson for Monash Ball

Fattening ourselves up at shogun

The girls =)

I heart all of you! <3>Thanks for making uni life more livable and enjoyable! =D

the long delayed tag =)

2008-11-07T01:32:00.002+08:00

THE SELF

[01] Real name: Michelle Tan Sze-Fan

[02] Nickname: Seefat, Sea Fan Coral, Michie, Fan Fan

[03] Married: *rolls eyes* =P

[05] Gender: Female

[06] Age: 19

[07] High School: SMJK Perempuan China Pulau Pinang

[08] College: Disted College

[09] Height: 164cm? (not sure)

[10] Weight: increasing everyday, unsure too

[11] Do you like yourself: sometimes

[12] Piercings: ears only

[13] Right of left: both

[14] Are you a freak : badminton and spongebob freak

[15] Hair: black

[16] Skin: looks fair from my face but four limbs very dark

[17] Allergic: No (thank God i get to eat EVERYTHING! XD)

[18] What are you doing now: duh.

[19] What will you doing 1hour later: waking ppl up in the middle of the night playing piano!

[20] What will you doing 10 years later: i don’t even know what will happen tomorrow (besides morning go uni, lowyat then shogun, movie and overnight in hostel hehe)

THE FAMILY

[21] Live with mother/father/parents: currently living in with 2 guys (cousins lah chill.. ) and a very nice aunty

[22] Siblings(included you): 3

[23] Eldest: Me

[24] Youngest: Nicholas

[25] Love/hate your family: I loved them and has learnt to love them more as i grow older

THE LOVE

[26] You found your another half: No

[27] If yes, who is he/she: -

[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: -

[29] Time(s) you in relationship: lol i’ve never had a bf but had a few more than friends (considered relationship? lol)

[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): No

[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): haha

[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: -

[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: -

[34] Ever argue with your other half: -

[35] You with your other half since: -

[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: Straight

[37] Reasons you love your other half: -

[38] You and your other half in which stage: -

[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: -

[40] Ever think of marry he/she: -

THE FRIENDS

[41] Your first best friend: Beatrice

[42] Your first enemy: a small boy who pinched me in kindy

[43] The friends you love the most: Those around me and in my thoughts =)

[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): -

[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: everyone is beautiful in their own right

[46] Your most handsome boy friend: wait till i find one handsome one (just kidding! =P)

[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: i don’t know yet

[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: playboy

[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: Yup

[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: No

[51] If your friend backstabbing you: Make her regret her whole life! (Pulau Tikus tai kar cheh speaking XD)

[52] If your friend betray you: refer to above

[53] If your friend woo your lover: errr.. intro her another better one? lol

[54] If your friends fall in love with you: hmmm =/ see who lah[

55] If you fall in love with your best friend: she’s a girlie =.= but i love her lah

THE STUDIES

[56] Are you a good student: I may appear to be one but am not

[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Yes but without all my friends’ help i can do almost nothing. Thank yousss =)

[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Miss Lai Ee May

[59] Always late to school/college: No

[60] Your class: -

[61] You love your seniors: some

[62] Senior who you love the most: -

[63] Your classmates good/bad: Good

[64] Excellent result classmate: Joshua

[65] Laziest classmate: Me?

*took out the whole section as i don’t know what to write*
But yx already gave mepermission “alter the questions if you feel uneasy with them or maybe ignore some questions.. "

THE PREFER

[76] Lip or eyes: Eyes

[77] Hugs or kisses: Hugs

[78] Shorter or taller: Taller

[79] hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous

[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach (the one thing i don’t have for a very very very very long time)

[81] Listener or talker: Talker

[82] Romantic or rich: Romantic

[83] Good husband or Good Father: Husband (if he’s a good husband, then he will obey everything i command him to do, including taking care of the kids so i can go out badminton or what =P)

THE FUTURE

[84] Age to get marry: 28 (like my parents)

[85] Numbers of kid(s): 2 or 3

[86] Career: Environmentalist or Social Worker(my husband must be rich lah lidat)

[87] Salary: More than enough (not yet adding monthly allowances from husband =P)

[88] Retirement age: 55

[89] Properties value: -

[90] Wishes: A lot. From travelling around the world, to finding the right ONE, to everyone around me being happy =)

I'm still single. XD

2008-10-17T10:02:00.002+08:00

With reference to my title, it is my decision and a good thing too. haha. get the hint? =P anyway, shamrina forwarded this entertaining e-mail to me which i would like to share. enjoy~=)

Why Ladies today are still single?

1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have No money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

'Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.'

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

2008-10-12T18:42:00.001+08:00

God Offers Comfort to All

3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Praise Him =)

unordered

2008-10-11T23:18:00.003+08:00

something bugged me just now, suddenly have no mood to study (although exams are like 2 weeks away and i have not realy started.. yes. i'm serious, dead serious *very heavy sigh*)

since i couldn't study, wanted to find refuge in msn. lol. chatted for like 2 hours and found that many people are also facing their own problems.

fact: everyone faces problems.

but.... i thank God that i have people around me just to hear me out . i heart them a lot =)

felt like crying (not sad, but just randomly want to express my feelings, very mixed up feelings haha... sad--> one kind problem, happy--> ppl who are very patient with me)

and feel like hugging someone.

who wants a hug?

by comforting others in their grief and consoling them on their problems, i feel somewhat happier myself too. i want to make people smile even when i'm sad, so that i can smile with them too. by hugging someone, you're also being hugged by that person. by helping others, i help myself to forget about unhappy stuff.

well...

i really don't mind making many cups of hot milo =P

cha-pa-lang

2008-10-05T23:16:00.006+08:00

Very Early Christmas + Motivational Card

sea coral fan =.=
yes, you got it right. christmas wish in october (or rather september) lol. this girl very sweet though =) she had to wish me early as she will not be in msia during the year end. (too bad she doesn't get to see me in christmas drama) =P have fun yeahhh! take a lot of pics and show me. *whispers* smuggle back some baskin too! there very cheap >< my very yeng cousin
wanan know why say him yeng ah? cause he treated me to starbucks chocolate frapuccino with no cream venti size! XD actually a few girls say him yeng also lah but he my cousin so i don't know ler. say no to incest! =P
love the environment there. =) stayed for a few hours there, we paid for the environment too so must enjoy to the MAX! (ks)

CF Hiking to Templar's Park

all of us soaking wet, well, most of us lah (those who know how to have fun =P)
the 5 of us (tyee, shane, lm, cc and yours truly)
this is a pretty picture.
posing >< as usual, i sweat profusely =.= unlike miss foo who didn't sweat at all zzzz *envy* (but maybe she unhealthy that's why haha jk jk)

at the base of the hill, still looking fresh and semangat
where was i looking at? >< me and the miss foo
tyee fell down and i helped wash her wound (peter commented i looked motherly =.=)
sliding down the waterfall after having a very good back massage =)

PS: seeeee!! i updated on CF hiking d. cannot nag me d someone =P

at winnie's place

2008-10-03T00:41:00.005+08:00

posing XD
tze hui braided yi wei's hair, quite nice =)
taking pic with the wine *cough* (sparkling juice) three of us bought haha
yi wei made me do this o.O
she pose nicer. pro d. lol

ain't she cute, laughed like a child
the three nocturnal animals that talked till wee hours in the morning
she practically laughed till she fell to the ground. swt
me and tze hui
in this pic, yi wei looked like she has got a crush on tze hui. eih! don't snatch her from me ok! =P

the girls had a great time. we baked cornflakes cookies and pandan cake which came out really well (*ahem* of course lah, we used NONA mah "shhhhh... =X") made tze hui overnight with us at yi wei's house. she was supposed to be studying for her finals this coming week... but... ><>

PS: pictures taken with my lousy 2MP camera phone and all came out orangey lol.

summary for month of september

2008-10-02T14:47:00.008+08:00

Joo Khiang's birthday

celebrated at Asia Cafe with business friends.

Blood Donation

wanted to donate blood but was sick so i couldn't help save a life =( but am proud of those ppl above who lend a helping hand and got their hands pricked XD (TY got both pricked coz her left hand not enough blood >< poor her) proud of CC too, although she didn't donate blood but she went for the blood test and didn't cry =)

Sunrise at Beach

she and her lame sign. lol.

I took this pic. pretty ain't it? =P

A mixture of beautiful colours in the sky. First time watching sunrise, had to wake up at 5.30am but it was worth it. went for roti canai at batu f'ghi and i had 2 helpings. XD KL don't have nice roti canai lol.

Prize-giving Ceremony at Disted

Received envelope that contained paper asking me to collect money and cert at 5th October. Disted kiam siap =.= purposely want ppl to forget collect and can save that few dollars lol. not very sincere hmm >< got prize for TER above 90 and best subject for Chemistry. very shocked. but praise God. could not have done it without Him. All glory to Him. yay~

Starbucks

wanted to study or at least do a lil bit of my work in starbucks after 2 hours of badminton (too busy playing, no pics =P) but did not manage to finish much. sigh. can't do work in penang. decided to come back kl on thursday early morning with family. my cousin, syn dee and her cute baby, callie is here! *beams*

PS: added many pictures on the CF hiking but i didn't know pictures can't cut and paste in blogs. so... all gone! *grrrrrrr* forgive me for not updating on that. can refer to TY, CC, LM or Shane's blog for that. peace~

maybe it's for the best

2008-09-23T13:27:00.004+08:00

You said, i'm the one who brought you most intense pain & hurt along with happiness.
You said, we are not like others, we would remain friends even if I couldn't accept you.
You said, you would keep on waiting but now you've given up and i thank God for that.
You said, we'll be strangers now and maybe we'll become friends again someday.
You said, you're afraid to meet me because you don't know how to react or you won't know what to say.
You said, you'll avoid me to the extent where you'll skip church.

I say. it's good to not contact each other for the time being as it will fasten the healing process.
I say. it's good for you to forget me because i don't think i can bring you any happiness now, even as friends.
I say. it's wrong and foolish of you to stop going to church because of some stupid friction between me and you. You could just go to a church elsewhere. and don't blame God (although you would deny that).
I say. i'm sorry i have to hurt you over and over again.
I say. you think too much and sometimes it really annoys me.
I say. i hate avoiding people.
I say. i will just go on with my life and not let this affect me.

and....

I say. as much as i detested you and hated you in the past (and i repent), i just hope that one day we would become friends again, just normal friends is sufficient for me.

"a prayer for my busy lil fan"

2008-09-18T21:32:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing fan into my lfe.

Thank you for sending someone that cares for me and i can care for.

Thank you for giving me someone to hold on to when life gets rough and someone to laugh with when life is easier.

As fan goes through the remainder of the day, i pray that You will watch over her.

When she is frustrated, You'll let her find rest and peace in You.

When she is tired, You'll be her strength for with Your strength, old feet shall not falter nor young feet stumble.

Bless that fellowship that she has with her friends and also that in all that she does, she does it for your glory.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

very sweet =) it made my day alright. hehh.

the poem in her sms <3

2008-09-10T20:57:00.003+08:00

"A friend is sweet when it's new

But it's sweeter when it's true.

But you know what?

It's sweetest when it's you.

Years my fly, tears may dry

But my friendship with you will never die.

A friend gives hope when life is low.

A friend is a place when you have nowhere to go.

All the best in your exams fan." =)

This is why i love her =) we were just in the same class for one year and it's like we've known each other our whole lives, we were stuck wth each other, posting snail mails to each other during holidays and became best friends ever since. we are really comfortable in each other's company, we enjoy hugging each other all the time. i really am grateful and thankful for meeting someone amazing and sweet like her.

To her: take care and let's hang out more often okayy. hope you'll get to come for the bloom conference, you can stay at my aunt's house and let's tell stories till late night XD

monash ball

2008-09-03T23:11:00.003+08:00

DISCLAIMER (especially for TTY's eyes): Miss Michelle Tan Sze-Fan will not be held responsible for any consequences resulting from the scary/ugly/fierce/weird-looking pics posted below. Tread on at own risk.

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*sigh* why do i have to do this post? *sulks* because i promised someone.

To that someone, be grateful okayyy. my image at risk d =/

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with business frens (two models by my side) lol i have small eyes TT

them again. plus one odd engineering student =P

look at david's expression HAHA XD

hmmmm... =P

with victor, the phtographer. purposely put up this pic coz others a lil small ><

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anyway, special thanks to yingxuan who helped me find the make-up artist cum hairstylist lol. and she helped me tie my scarf too (but came out in the end ><) very helpful indeed =)

and thanks to my friend (although only accompanied halfway) for trying your best to help me feel comfortable.

material things

2008-09-02T22:21:00.004+08:00

have been receiving a few things these few days. just want to show off a lil. hahha.

got this for helping my friend out in some events.

got this bangle during emerge from bea's guy fren, daniel. he gave me coz his hand couldn't go in. XD she has one in white too.

bought these 4 books during the MPH book fair in Dewan Komuniti Bandar Utama. had special discounts because my cousin was a member =D 4 books for about RM50 only. good bargain! hehe. but haven't started on any books yet. want to borrow my cousin's 'men are from mars, women are from venus' first. heh.

got this erm.. mask that looks like power rangers from a cheeky friend who used it during his orientation week with juniors lol. maybe too ugly so he didn't want it. hahahhaha. anyway it was not me who said it was ugly ok.... =X but thanks though XD very MEANINGFUL gift. hahaha. i am very sincere.

happy birthday to dear winnie( still dunno why she chose a name like this lol) or better known as yi wei. already wished her thrice. hahaha. see how uu sim i am XD

as you all can see, she's a lil narcissist. but then, that's okay with me. i can accept her for who she is. that's what friends are for rite. *winks* =P

of concerts and conferences

2008-09-01T20:12:00.005+08:00

one thing i love about KL is the unending cool christian concerts and conferences =)

this year alone, i went for the planetshaker's at sunway college hall, hillsong concert in glad tidings with some fellow penangites =), passion conference at sunway convention centre, revoluton conference in ACTS and not forgetting, EMERGE.

just love all these events =D awesomeness! always feel refreshed after attending them. get to jump and sing.

anyway i will only choose to talk about the last three concerts as others were over very very long ago and sorry i did not update on those.

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Passion Conference

was there with CF members, tickets only forRM20, very cheap =) considering i had the chance to see chris tomlin, charlie hall (bald withlong beard, kinda weird but cool *wink*), and of coz one of my favourite speakers now, louie giglio (from the indescribable video some of you watched in camp, which i did not attend =( but then, i got to see him in person!!! HHAHHAA *evil grin*)

me with aileen, my cucu =)

together with CF members

REVOLUTION Conference

it happened in ACTS church, the one i'm attending right now. very cool, they sang their own songs and had a few bands consisting of their own church members performing, like army three band and four letter story band. i especially love their dance, they had hip-hop, breakdance and the cool heartbeat thingy with one person in the middle which i don't know how to describe lol.

oh yeah, praise God i managed to bring my cousin, shin yih (with alarize's help) to attend the concert too, he enjoyed the band too =)

EMERGE Concert

felt so happy i was able to attend the concert, not because of the concert itself but i got to meet bea at last. so bad of her, came to KL, went shopping all over the city but did not come and meet me =( anyway we had fun and shared some stories, update each other on our lives, it was good =) of course, we seized the opportunity to take pictures with my lao ia hp with only 2 mega pixels camera. we took many pictures because someone is clearly not experienced in taking pictures, doesn't know about lighting stuff and distance (i'm talking lk an expert but i know i'm not hahhaa but i do know basics =P) we take pictures until we were not aware we blocked a group of ppl from making to the exit. TERUK! ahhaha. we are both very blur ppl, totally unaware of our surroundngs lol and always bringing embarrassment to ourselves. XD

anyway, there was a lot of competitions in the concert, lk the fashion design competition, fastest talking competition and word power competition. wanna know what's the word power competition about? there's a group of 3 ppl who were asked to pick a number from the lot and then dictate out a few verses which they chose randomly. amazing ler. was so shocked, they even remember all those commas, full stops and dashes at the right places. i was awestruck, seriously.

with my dear beatrice. still love her no matter how badly she treated me. very one-sided. *sighs* hahahha.

well...

2008-08-29T17:16:00.003+08:00

I wanted to blog about how someone was so nice to me yesterday but sth really bothered me today. had to express myself, cannot tahan.

why? why? why?

why did i VOLUNTEER to help?

why did you call me even when you didn't trust me?

why did you have to criticize when you didn't see the things i have done?

why did i even waste so much time, effort, strength, money but in the end, i gain nothing except endless criticisms? i don't expect any returns AT ALL but just a simple 'thank you' is more than sufficient.

why did you ignore the things i have done and just choose to look on the bad things?

after asking so many 'whys', i don't need an answer.

i think i already have it.

you're just human. LOL. (is that funny? i think so. *going mad*)

you say i don't have to care about what people say. but i can't. so, it's not your fault. but mine.

anyway, i don't look forward to the event tmr.

*sigh* how i wish i was like drew barrymore in 'first 50 dates', losing her short term memory and start a new day everyday. i want to forget.

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Proverbs 12 (New Living Translation)

1 To learn, you must love discipline;
it is stupid to hate correction.

2 The Lord approves of those who are good,
but he condemns those who plan wickedness.

3 Wickedness never brings stability,
but the godly have deep roots.

4 A worthy wife is a crown for her husband,
but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

5 The plans of the godly are just;
the advice of the wicked is treacherous.

6 The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush,
but the words of the godly save lives.

7 The wicked die and disappear,
but the family of the godly stands firm.

8 A sensible person wins admiration,
but a warped mind is despised.

9 Better to be an ordinary person with a servant than to be self-important but have no food.

10 The godly care for their animals,
but the wicked are always cruel.

11 A hard worker has plenty of food,
but a person who chases fantasies has no sense.

12 Thieves are jealous of each other’s loot,
but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit.

13 The wicked are trapped by their own words,
but the godly escape such trouble.

14 Wise words bring many benefits,
and hard work brings rewards.

15 Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.

16 A fool is quick-tempered,
but a wise person stays calm when insulted.

17 An honest witness tells the truth;
a false witness tells lies.

18 Some people make cutting remarks,
but the words of the wise bring healing.

19 Truthful words stand the test of time,
but lies are soon exposed.

20 Deceit fills hearts that are plotting evil;
joy fills hearts that are planning peace!

21 No harm comes to the godly,
but the wicked have their fill of trouble.

22 The Lord detests lying lips,
but he delights in those who tell the truth.

23 The wise don’t make a show of their knowledge,
but fools broadcast their foolishness.

24 Work hard and become a leader;
be lazy and become a slave.

25 Worry weighs a person down;
an encouraging word cheers a person up.

26 The godly give good advice to their friends;
the wicked lead them astray.

27 Lazy people don’t even cook the game they catch,
but the diligent make use of everything they find.

28 The way of the godly leads to life;
that path does not lead to death.

read this in my phone after i blogged. wow.

day of firsts

2008-08-09T01:44:00.003+08:00

yesterday i went for futsal with joo khiang and eric's friends. it was my first time playing the 10 players game. and i was the only girl in the group, maybe also the only girl playing in the whole stadium. hahhaa. anyway, all of them were quite nice. hehhe. someone said that i was very good (for beginner that is). hahahha. i managed to snatch the ball a few times and passed it to benson who scored the goal =) although it lasted only 1 hour but quite tiring ler.

after that we went yam cha at station one, they bought a deck of cards and played 'FISH' (a card game that is quite similar to heart attack, no gambling involved =P). sheun yeow lost and was forfeited. he had to either do pumping on the floor 5 times in the middle of the cafe or do jump clap or ask for a girl's phone number. XD he chosed the latter one and had to ask the waitress for her number. damn funny coz he was so malu. hahhaa.

reach home a few minutes later. brought keys but couldn't open the wooden door. someone locked it =.= and i was locked outside my house, for the first time too. tried to call my cousins but all of them were out. didn't dare call my aunty coz she was already sleeping and didn't want to make her angry on the day before her birthday =/ soooooo.... my heroic cousin flew back from PJ in twenty minutes time ( he was helping tv3 setting up their booth in his part time job). when waiting, i was playing my handphone games and listening to songs, few ppl called too =D
anyway, he saved my ass XD.

my hero <3

i want to play badminton XD.

rawang trip

2008-08-08T12:01:00.008+08:00

was supposed to be doing my chemistry and bio reports plus video assignment BUT i couldn't bear the boringness of them and me being the lousiest blogger in our group (CC, tyee, LM, shane, yx has been blogging more frequently than me =.=) so i decided to do this very LONG DELAYED post.

11th July 2008, Friday

(countdown to new sem : 2 days)

Time 20:00

Me: wei sien lah school starting d. tmr wanna do sth FUN? lk hiking or go jungle trekking?

Shanq Yeet: hmm yealor. wat about going to rawang? there got watefall very nice, can jungle trek a lil too. =D eihhhhh... can do camp fire and have breakfast there too! hehe.

Time: 2200

we went to the seveneleven nearby to get our stuff for breakfast on the next day! XD

(i was amazed by our speed. so fast and efficient. that's the nice thing about having 2 guy cousins. hahahhaa. no need plan so much before going for ADVENTURE! )

12th July 2008, Saturday

(countdown to new sem: 1 day *sobs*)

Time: 0600

we woke up early because we did not want to be caught in the mad KL jam, took our stuff and we're on the go =) oh yea, my cousin checked the car although it was just a 45 minute drive. we wouldn't want to be stucked in the jungle right =P

Time: 08:00

we reached our destination. had to walk in the jungle quite a distance while carrying our loads on our backs (just like an expedition! haha) no complaints though =) a few leeches bit my two cousins! i was safe. hahhahaha.

ahh.. the waterfall =D

us chopping wood with parang after collecting them cautiously (for fear of leeches)

my PRO cousin bro who was an ex-scout setting up the small camp fire with the help of the wood I chopped down and also fire starter =)

me making dough in a plastic bag because SOMEONE forgot to bring the metal container =.=

rolling and rolling..

sat on the rock making food and a leech got on my leg. thx God i was fast and used my hand to brush it away XD do you see our bread stick on the pole?

enjoying the waterfalls while waiting for the 'bread' to rise

shin yih's trying to show the place where the leech bit him, i think

my two cousins =)

the organiser and me =)

in conclusion, the last holidays were the BEST in my life! had penang 'trip' with monash frens, going out everyday with penang ppl, playing badminton & pool, went singapore and rawang trip.

i will make my coming holidays BETTER i vow. XD

singapore trip

2008-07-29T23:48:00.008+08:00

10th to 11th July 2008

Went to singapore with cousins. was supposed to go on the 9th but due to my carelessness and ignorance, we had to postphone it to the next day. I forgot to bring my passport, had to rush to penang to get it myself and took bus home alone. I'm sorry that they had to go one day later because of me but they don't seem to mind because they said it won't be so fun without me. how sweet =)

pointing at my cousin's apartment where we stayed for 2 days.

having Japanese buffet dinner at Miramar Hotel *smacks lips* cousin's treat =)

us at the science centre playing dead XD take 1

take 2

take 3

in snow city

hands were very cold so i put the tube on my head and my hands in my warm pockets hehhh

before moving on to other pics, i regret not taking video of my cousin sitting on two floats while sliding down the cold ground. he used two because he said his butt very big, touch the ground and very cold. so he took two and stacked them on each other so his butt won' touch the ground. clever? i don't think so. as he slided down, his floats were unstable and came out. in the end, his butt becme wet and cold, worse than before. and i laughed. hahahahahahhahaaahahaha XD

me watching the pink dolphins

cousins waiting for the songs of the sea to start. notice shanq yeet's piggy lips lol

showing off the luge ride stamp

ate 2 oreo mcflurry's after sentosa. playing too much makes me hungry =P

we look lansi lol

i took this pic at mrt station, quite yeng i thinks

me trying handbag. so sad i did not mange to get one before we left due to rushing here and there. *sighs* smell my shoes! at vivo city

underwater world

it was a very rushing but quite fulfilling trip. we all had fun =D

we played monopoly on the last night till 4am in the morning when one of my cousins bankrupt. haha. board games can be entertaining too!

hope we get to do this again next time.

anyway, wait for updates on rawang trip =)

tagged by jie

2008-07-29T16:03:00.003+08:00

15 weird things / habits / little known facts about myself:

1. looked very ugly when i was young due to cocked eyes and pink, thick-rimmed, nerdy specs
2. wants to burn my 5 to 12 photos lol
3. had curly and unruly hair in primary school because i used body shampoo instead of hair shampoo
4. a lil tomboy-ish. SELDOM wear skirts or dresses except for church and functions
5. hyperactive, as in very outdoor peson and likes to play a lot
6. loves playing badminton and pool X)
7. likes staring into blank space, not thinking or feeling anything
8. actually likes hugging ppl but don't do that often (paiseh ma)
9. laughs for no reason when doing revisions during exam period
10. doesn't know how to use the pick to dig my ear
11. once ate 10 ice creams in a row
12. loves singing, sometimes in the shower
13. sometimes listens to music even when showering
14. scared of being in contact with animals
15. wants to learn how to climb trees

kept my promise and did the tag even before doing my assignment. touched? =P

resolutions for the new semester

2008-07-13T01:55:00.003+08:00

always study before quizzes or computer tests
do not do last minute work for lab reports and essays, finish them AT LEAST 1 day before due date ( i hope =/ )
no fishing, pay FULL attention in class and make own notes
continue exercising at least once every week (badminton)
sleep for at least 6 hours a day
get more involved in uni activities
appear more friendly and make ppl less afraid of me ><
pray and study Bible more, get into closer relationship with God
join more church activities and get to know more church members
be more matured in my thinking and learn to think about others more

well, that's all i can think of now. anyone, please tell me if i ever forget about what i promised to improve on and i give you permission to hit me (girls only lol) * i know of a few ppl who just love to do that TT *

PS: i referred to 4C's and Shane's blog because i never really did any resolutions before lol.

PSS: praise God for results that came out to be much better than i've expected. thought i would fail management. all glory to Him =) and thanks to those who have upheld me in prayer and those that encouraged me all the way when i had no mood to study. i truly appreciate all of you guys. *hugs* =D

overnights

2008-07-03T18:13:00.006+08:00

for the last week, bea has been staying at my house. although had to wake up early fetch her to and from work sometimes when her mum couldn't fetch, but i have no complaints. she even chia me one meal at wongkok qb. XD

me and leng lui lol

we made orange juice together for the whole family. pity nicky didn't get to drink coz he was sick haha ( i get to drink his share lol). before we slept, we chatted and bea showed me how to tie my hair in many diff ways but i can't say i remember any ><

chopstick hairstyle

last thursday winnie aka yi wei came to stay too. (someone doesn't know winnie is yi wei lol). three of us went qb and camwhore a lot. me kena paksa =/ haiz so not me. but don't wanna make them sad so i had to join in too =P three of us managed to squeeze togeher on the queen size bed because we are not fat (i hope). i wanted to bring in another matress to sleep on the floor but they say cramp together more fun.

me kena bully as always TT

4 of us including my cute bro. we used winnie's hp and set timer. canggih.

last night two of us went to winnie's house to overnight again. me and bea had a lil pillow fight. both of us very cheeky, keep on peli-ing each other. then, suddenly bea's fren sent her a video clip which i saw before and didn't want to see it again. the video clip where an old lady suddenly appears in the lift after two guys left. but i was so nice, i warned them about it. bea freaked out even as she heard me describe it and refused to watch it while yi wei went ahead and gave a deafening scream towards the end. HAHA! serves her right. i gave warning already cannot blame me yeah =P

before i forget, winnie just straightened her hair. i think she looks nicer d. and she tried to straighten a few locks of my hair to encourage me to do rebonding too. i might consider, that is if i have the money =/

bea and winnie suddenly took out barbie dolls and played while i just stared at them disbelievingly and managed to capture a few pics without their knowledge ( they were too busy dressing and undressing the girls ) *winks*

-- PICTURES REMOVED FOR SAFETY OF BLOG OWNER --

three of us (THEN) : yours truly, bea, winnie

three of us (NOW)

anyway, we're happy together =D

i might as well....

2008-06-27T13:34:00.011+08:00

okayyyyyyy. i think many of you have already seen despicable and defaming pics of myself in Mel's blog. so... i might as well put it up myself lol.

i hate ppl taking credit for my amazingly ugly photos of myself. HAH! just joking, Mel ;)

tam-chiakness
.
.
.
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statue of liberty wannabe XD
.

perbuatan tak senonoh o.O

pulau tikus tai kah cheh

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.
.
.

look at gabriel's expression. haha.
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.

PS: can't update about genting trip and "penang trip" because of lack of photos due to lazy ppl lol

key to success in relationships

2008-06-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Dear readers, this is a meaningful article that i feel will benefit both singles and married ppl. Those who are still single may learn something from here...Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve yourmarriage & relationship ... DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

that was supposed to be a joke if you don't know lol.

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighingon your mind. Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch,and liked their idiosyncrasies(unconventional behavior/habit. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.

In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" inlove... Because it's happening TO YOU . People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria(excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely,phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not alwayswelcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead ofbeing cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between theinitial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angrysubsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry theright person?"

As you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is themost obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV,or abusive substances.

BUT the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afew years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly,it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriagework. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific thingsyou can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), thereare also laws for relationships.Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.It's a direct cause and effect.

If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love . Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Remember this always : "God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

afterthought:

well, a meaningful article it is no doubt. anyway don't ask me why i put this article up all of a sudden and when am i getting married.

to avoid any more questions, i will say that i am getting married on 31st august. so remember my ang paus. remember, on 31st august 2017 yeahh. who is the groom? i don't know YET. hahhahaaaaha

(as you can see, CHEMISTRY really is messing up with my head now! ARGH.... out of 21 questions, i can only do less than 10. Help!)

anyway, countdown: 1 DAY!!!! =D

daddy's day

2008-06-13T16:17:00.003+08:00

A Paternal Poem

Day in day out for us you’ve toiled,
Every cent you’ve earned on us you poured,
Though you may not know that for you, we are glad.
And this day we are here to say thank you, dad.

One day is not enough
To say sorry
For all the times we disobeyed you

One day is not enough
To apologize
For all the times were rude to you

One day is not enough
To atone
For all the times we lied to you

Oh yes of course we know

One poem is not enough

To make it up
For all the times we disappoint
But now that we’re a little bit wiser,
Though we don’t always remember,
Know in your heart that forever,
We have you to thank for,
for all that we are today.

For you’ve brought us up,
To be men and women of God,
To love, to protect and to fight,
With courage against all odds.

For that we give you thanks,
Happy Father's Day!

written by Beatrice Teoh and her GC Youths

PS: it's father's day this sunday! remember to remember your dads lol.

come back...

2008-06-11T13:51:00.003+08:00

yesterday, went for badminton awhile illegally (didn't pay =P, played in no-light condition haha) right after my stats exams then kena halau. since we (me + cousins) didn't sweat enough, went to park and jogged two rounds somemore. saw mix.fm van there, stopped by to take drinks and free buns haha. didn't stay for the games although they said "don't go after taking the freebies yea, later got games" HAHA. and, we left. without playing games. *winks*

watched my now favourite drama series "golden finger", every weekdays 7.20 - 8.00pm on channel 317 if i'm not wrong. really nice. that time, everyone, including my 2 bad cousins who always bully me and aunty sure will crowd around the tv. my cousins (shanq yeet and shin yih) are very bad! last night scare me saying i'm going bald! wthe!!!! (but then again, actually they not so bad lah, always help me carry books or bag when we walk to daiki hehe)

watched kung fu panda at night with 4 of my cousins (all guys. coz no female cousins here, so i got "special" treatment lol) the cartoon damn nice. so funny, laughed from the start till the end. and to think that i didn't want to watch the movie at first. pfftt. haha. yes, piggier and wk was right in saying the movie's good =) wk even watched both english and cantonese version of it and somemore said wanted to watch it again (that is if he didn't have to study for exams lah). pandamonium lol. oh yea, bea said she laugh till stomach ache (must be laughing so super unlady-like) *picturing it in my head* =P

to tyee, go watch when free lah when you bored of studying the thick thick stupid chem. is better than drama. i think.

but haihhhhhh.. today felt so moodless. no mood study lahh. somemore 2 of my cousins went for holiday in thailand and hanoi d. so sad, the house's like so quiet. suddenly feel lonely now. no cousin to tease me about me getting fatter, becoming darker, uglier, being unladylike, super chor lor or me going bald TT

help. please come back.... (oh, was just referring to my study mood, not bad cousins!) haih, okay, maybe both lol.

i have a secret shh

2008-06-07T21:38:00.004+08:00

i am crazy.

i am in love with bob. SPONGEBOB!

*grins*

he's not stupid and the way he laughs is not sot sot dei! =.=

now i've said it. it's no more a secret now, is it?

PS: why blogspot sudah mundur no more colours to choose for the words
=(

PSS: i am bored of bio!

family dayS

2008-06-03T01:23:00.005+08:00

countdown to holidays: 14 days

BUT

countdown to exams: 2 days

=________________________=

haven't been studying a lot lately. haih. whole family's here for holidays, have to teman them SHOPPING, WATCH MOVIE, PLAY BADMINTON, EAT ICE CREAM. spend quality time with family rite coz family > exams. hahhahaa. die d lah!!! ><..

PS: i need motivation even as i study motivation (in management textbook) =.=

PSS: haven't started studying stats and someone complained she just studied till chapter 4??!! OMG

some of the pics I promised :

wat was he trying to do? o.O

oh look, we're happy =P

hillsong concert

2008-05-31T00:44:00.003+08:00

hehh.. most of you are informed of the hillsong concert that took place 2 days ago, i went, participated and satisfied =)

well, i reached the glad tidings AOG at about 7.30pm. (ignite youth ppl super don't follow malaysian time, they were already there by 5 sth. haha) there were so many ppl in the foyer waiting for the door to open. so while waiting, i bought an 'i heart' t-shirt =D

*will post pic later, belum cuci*

PS: my sis bought the 1GB cool-looking thumbdrive and also a t-shirt. no fair. T.T

we went in the arena at 8pm after a long wait (30 minutes is long, but for them 3 hours?? hmm.. XD ) overall, the concert was great, lightings, sound effects and all were good. during praise i was jumping like mad (I think.NOTE: not wise, just had dinner shortly before that but totally forgot about it, too excited, haha). but when worship started, i started to feel nauseous and almost fainted. i couldn't tahan already when the song 'the stand' was playing (bad timing. someone said it was one of the nicest song =.=) so, i SOMEHOW found my way through the crowds to the exit door on the other side and then to the toilet. after washing my pale face, i sat outside at the staircase a lil while before going in, looking very lost. lol

felt better after saying a lil prayer and sat at the back at the steps which was not so crowded. well, thank God i managed to enjoy the rest of the concert with strangers at the back but it was good =)

contribution from 4Cs

2008-05-27T00:16:00.004+08:00

heck.. i know 4Cs outdid my drawing (the copy cat one)...

anyway,

4Cs promised me a baskin =D

so... i shall not be sad since my sadness was compensated =P

PS: hate to go uni during my study break week. thought i could stay away from monash for at least one week but ended up having to go almost everyday. ARGH. =(

woohoo =D

2008-05-21T21:06:00.005+08:00

hillsong united band is coming!!! and i'm gonna meet them on the 28th may.
to make things better, i just found out that about 28 ignite-ians are going! yay~~ all the way from penang. hehhehe.

this is sooooooo coool =)
can't wait for that day. lol.

anyway. i have one extra ticket for the concert. selling at 50 bucks. whoever interested tell me yea. it's not like every year they will come, only once in like 4 years i think. so, it's WORTH IT!

don't hesitate to go yea~~ woohhoo =D

PS: i so hope marty sampson and brooke fraser they're coming *fingers crossed* =(

i met another me

2008-05-19T01:19:00.002+08:00

went to church today. everything was so nice. the praise and worship. enjoyed myself thoroughly. i felt Him again =D

anyway, after the singing, we were asked to pray for our neighbours. i sat beside this real tall girl who was dressed quite nicely. she asked what was my name and said 'i'm michelle.' i thought, how did she know my name? and then she said 'michelle tan'. i was like, am i wearing a tag that says michelle tan or anything? well, i checked. LOL. no, she is also michelle tan. =D she prayed for me and i asked if i could pray for her (first time i did that in acts) so proud of myself because i am usually quite shy and don't pray well. hehh =)

pastor kenneth shared sth that really touched me today but i can't remember a lot of points and facts he stated because i did not jot them down =X but i will try to convey his message here for the sake of some people who need to know this.

pastor kenneth said, a guy went to consult him because he had been in church for a few years already and now he feel that going to church is pointless and it has become a drag for him each sunday morning to wake up early and to attend the services. that guy said that he doesn't expect anything every time he goes to church and he doesn't have a need. (that is why he thinks he doesn't need God already)

'We need to have a need', pastor Kenneth said. without a need, we will not have any expectations. therefore, we do not have the drive to act or do something for Him or even for ourselves.

isn't need something bad? doesn't it symbolize weakness and frailness? aren't we supposed to be strong always and always be blessed by God?

As far as i remember, there's two kinds of needs (i can't remember the rest). first, need in circumstances.such as lack of money etc etc (the usual need). then comes another type of need. we choose to be in need because of our conviction given by God. pastor kenneth provided a few examples such as God challenging some challenged to stop juggling between 2 jobs by giving one up and then spend more time serving in church despite their financial needs, some challenged to forgive someone that hurt him/her very deeply, some challenged to do missions, some challenged to serve full time, some challenged not to take any salary but live by faith and rely on Him only (fyi, pastor kenneth did not have any salary for the pasts 14 years i think). the need arises because of the choice we make or the one we NEED / SHOULD be making.

do you have a NEED?

sorry i did not know how to put it as good as how pastor kenneth has shared it.(this gives another reason for you guys to go church with me lol) but i hope those who should understand has understood and learnt sth from it. here you go, a post for you. live and learn.

animal 'lovers'

2008-05-17T23:34:00.009+08:00

since miss cc blogged about me and my cruelty, i guess i need to clarify my actions here lol. btw pictures taken from http://www.lollipopsilove.blogspot.com/ (Foo, C. C., 2008).

i crashed again at the hostel again last night. =) hehh. slept like 7 hours plus. even snored a lil. aiks. unlady-like me >< thanks to tyee who made milo for me when i was suddenly hungry during midnight. she's a good host. hahha =P

hmmm.. she took my picture when i was not aware??! who's the secret admirer now? haha. jk =P

i dropped my pencil as a result of simply wagging it around lol, it ended up under the chair in front of me.

SUDDENLY, i repeat suddenly, i saw something brownish moving towards my feet when i was trying to look for my pencil. it was a CENTIPEDE ( cc's favourite animal i think, since she took so many pictures of me together with them.. hmm ). centipedes bite! thank God it did not went into my shoes (tyee's actually) and bite my lil toes =.= i bet they will look like cocktail sausages.

took some chewing gum wrapping paper from tyee to catch the hydrostatic skeletoned worm (wateva.. just learnt from bio class lol).

wow. me = brave. hahh =P

yup, that's me trying to pick the worm up.

*stamp* *stamp* (smiles victoriously) =)

that's tyee checking if it's still alive. unfortunately, it's not dead (although fortunately for tyee, coz she has a thing for torturing animals. you guys should check out what she did to the poor frog in bio lab lol. check them out at http://www.t-yee.blogspot.com/. she promised to update =D )

yeah. i knew she was waiting for her turn to do this XD

in the end, the milipede still didn't die due to its protective hydrostatic skeleton =.=
so it ended up in the girls' toilet rubbish bin. lol.

AHHH. mission accomplished =D

memories from disted

2008-05-17T22:32:00.004+08:00

seeing chia ming blog about his bio trip with miss lai's class and all brings back much beautiful memories from disted. especially of miss lai, my all-time favourite bio lecturer.
At the beginning of the semester, she seemed very mean and fierce. she was the lecturer i disliked the most at first. hahaha. but that ddn't last long. =)

One day, i was waiting for my parents to come fetch me from college. saw her walking towards me from the corners of my eyes, was so scared lol. but after having a lil chat with her, i find that she's nice =D she even waited with me for about hal an hour to make sure i'm not kidnapped by bad guys. I found out that she was actually working at botanical gardens, someone with very high post, she joins NGOs that protest against any governmental projects that destroy the environment and she teaches at disted for fun (she loves teaching). she's one great person i look up to. i'm sure shane agrees very much with me. hahha. he likes her a lot XD

what's most touching was she took the effort to do lil souvenirs, cd with all our photos in it and a cute booklet with all our contact numbers. i think sh forced her husband to help her too. hahhaa. i miss her. wanna go visit her and her newborn baby next time. =)

me not visible in this group photo. too short =.=
from left : bea (bestie), miss lai, denise, me, syn wei =)

i miss i missssss themm allll. ahhh.. disted days....

walking the fine line

2008-05-15T19:35:00.004+08:00

walking the fine line. scared of making anymore mistakes.
one stupid action done might just send me to the other side (surely the bad one, just in case u can't figure it out yourself lol) or spoil everything that was established firmly through the many years and efforts put in.
i am treading slowly, slowly now, carefully. making sure i don't step on anything that is on the way. careful not to break anything that was laid on the path. things that i do not like, are ignored.
from past experiences, i have learnt to be more careful and better in controlling myself.
although i made my mistakes, by being ignorant and not knowing that some things are not what they seem.

but still, i am treading slowly on the fine line, slowly and cautiously, making progress =)

yup, i feel much better now. =D

thanks for those few who cares.

letting go

2008-05-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

i don't know how to say this. i really don't. the thing i feared that will happen to me came to pass. it is not the first time i got myself into the same situation. exactly the same. lol. i need to hurt somebody again. intentionally but unintentionally. why does this always happen to me? some might think it's a good thing but i don't think so. i experienced it much, sick and tired of it now. do you understand? i know you will try your best to lol. just try to do as i say can? i hope we are able to go back to the past where everything seems so natural. really. it is for our good. thanks. =)

let go and let God.

<3s mummy

2008-05-11T16:08:00.005+08:00

ilovemymummy calledheruptoday felthappycozifeelhercareandheardmybroscutevoice imissthemireallydo imissmyfriendsinpenangtoowonderingiftheymissmetoo anywayhappiemothersdayall =D

mummyishallbegoodanddomyassignmentnow willstopwastingtimeonablogthatnobodyreadshaha

and again, happie mother's day all =)

MORE to that.... (edited 12th May 2008)

a few of you might wonder why i was so happy yesterday. haha.
i shall tell you guys one of the reasons, another shall remain confidential because i keep promises =D

yesterday was mother's day, so i had to had to call her up to wish her because i think phone calls are more sincere than smses or e-mails lol and she likes it more i guess (more personal).

so after church i called her, asked how she was, how things are over in penang and my cute brother (emphasise CUTE) wanted to talk to me because he wants presents from me. he doesn't understand i'm in KL studying, he thought i go for long holiday or what hor =_=

the call ended and i suddenly thought, i think i missed out some things my mother HAS to know. hmm.. went to sleep and then woke up do bio essay, delayed the phone call till after dinner. here's the fun part:

Me: hello mum, i forgot to tell you something just now.
Mum: *suspiciously* yes?
Me: i LOVE you.
Mum: *after pausing for several moments, probably too shocked to react* ohh yes i know...
Me: (hmmm... not satisfied) *after a few moments' pause* how come you didn't say you love me too? (sounding hurt and dejected)
Mum: *laughs hysterically* you know WE LOVE YOU too, very very much. (I can hear her smile as she say that)
Me: *thinks to self* ain't i sweet? XD

i talked to my dad and said i love him too. at least he knows how to react lol unlike my mum. everyone knows that after someone says i love you, normally you would say you love that person too (normally lahh). my mum lah make everything so kekok only. hahhahhaa.

I think it's been long since i said those three super powerful, magical words. I love my family but sometimes it's kinda awkward for me to show my LOVE lol. you all know how unexpressive i am but i have learnt to take that big step and tried to close the gap =) i think i would try to practice this more in the future so my parents won't feel so one kind or shocked or unnatural when i express my LOVE. ahhahahahhaaaaaaa. i'm bad XD

weeeeeee~~~ whole family coming on 30th May for holiday. i'll be happy *smiles* although that time would be my study week.

cheerios. =D

of birthdays (tyee's and mine XD)

2008-05-02T23:08:00.004+08:00

wednesday (30th April) was tyee's birthday (yup, as mentioned above).

noticed i am getting more chiong hei?? (it's obvious even from the first sentence. haha). this is because of sticking around too much with the birthday girl ( or ex-birthday girl now coz initially wanted to blog this on 30th April).

Anyways, OVERALL, she is a very nice person except when she 'occasionally' laughs at the silly silly things i do. sigh. actually, i just got to like really know her this year. we were classmates in form 4 but never talked to each other. hahaha. (you all know how quiet i can be >< + we were sitting at two different poles in class... so...)

it was a BIG surprise when i found out suddenly that she has so much in common with me. from other people's point of view, we are SOOO different. from mine too (that was then).

-being chiong hei is tiring, i shall stop here since i don't have as much skills on this as she does XP-

for example: we always sat-laikan ourselves but me more, so she has chanceSSS to laugh at me more, we laugh at ourselves too haha, both don't like to use the hairdryer but changed recently, both like to CURIOUS (nicer substitute for 'kaypo'), both like to hear STORIES, both quite chin chai in some areas (dressing and stuff, sometimes we look like we don't comb our hair =X) BUT extremely yim chim in some (altering and checking every sentence in stats project) etc etc.

i think, so far, there's only ONE obvious difference between us. that is, she = talkative. me = quiet. XD

btw, i never expected this to happen. but we both received birthday gift(s) on 30th April. hahhaa. one kind. my belated birthday present was given by my cousin from singapore. i thought he remembered my bday wrongly and mixed up with somebody's else or what. so i didn't dare open in case it's not for me haha. after asking him, he told me he knew it's on dcember. LOLLLL. thanks anyways =) it was pretty.

PS (to someone) : i think this is better than the CHEM LAB MANUAL. don't you think? hahhaa.

oh yea, sorry for not putting up pic. perhaps u want me to put up the artistic one that fimtan took? hahaha.

for dearest princess lol =P

2008-04-27T00:32:00.004+08:00

I'm very honoured, fortunate, happy and blessed to have PROFESSIONAL people *ahem* do drawings for me =) so sweeeeeet. hehehe. absolutely 100%, love it.

thanks bro for the great drawing. somemore coloured wan. I also would like to take this opportunity to thank him for being there for me when i am sad or unhappy. He would FORCE me to tell him what's wrong (just kidding =P ) and then always pray for me.

Although he's in singapore, he'll occasionally sms me to guan sim me. ESPECIALLY when i'm starving and he smsed to say that he is eating bak kut teh =.= lol

Anyway, will be waiting for you to come back although i would have a lot off assignment and not enough time to entertain you. hahhaa. pssskk.. help me do assignment can?

oh yea. you guys can go admire all his cute cute drawings at http://gardeneffect.blogspot.com/. must promote promote =)

there... one new blog post. hehe.

i love him too <3

2008-04-16T22:28:00.003+08:00

LOL. nolah. not this hottie XD

........................................................................................................................................................................

I love him who wrote this =)

I missed his hugs and quite disgusting kisses TT

terrific sunday!

2008-04-14T19:36:00.003+08:00

sunday was great. =)

morning had my supper at daiki. remember.
think dining. think daiki. hehe.

then slept till 10am went to acts church. service was fun with pastor kenneth chin preaching on home cells and all. nice music too. really.

after service, had lunch with wk, yh and d. lol. went to taipan and eat hawker food. d says,' can swallow'. haha.

reached sunway condo at about 2. did a lil bit of stats project. taking samples of ppl's reaction time. I AM chi dun =.=

4.45pm reached sunway MPH!!! mph= multi-purpose hall. lol. went with tyee, jacky and a few more friends. the conference started off with prayer and then FINALLY. vibrant praise and worship by PLANETSHAKERS <3 long time lk wat i did yesterday. hopping makes me happie =)

okay, someone interrupted me here. i think he's very regretful for not turning up. HAHA.

conference ended at about 7.30pm. real short. did not have enough fun. sigh. went to orange with ty, yx, wl, ft, ws, jy, zx and lm. playful a bit. ft and me mimiced someone coz she can't eat and keeps on laughing lk one kind. buti so thoughtful, didn't want her food become cold so i stopped. =P

jing ye wo bu xiang hui jia~~~~
i kaypo wanna visit ppl's room and try sleeping one night at hostel. long time didn't sleep 2 ppl on single bed. very comfortable. slept till alarm rung 3 times i also din feel tiok. hahha.

to one kind of person who is special and lks to laugh at ppl:

thx for taking me in *pitiful tone*. had fun with all the free entertainment in your room. music, singing by her wonderful and MOST interesting room mate. but most of all, your laughters that never stop =D

*hugs and kisses*

better than i heart revolution? maybe. =P

2008-04-07T19:43:00.003+08:00

WARNING: Beloved people from penang, you all are not encourages to continue reading. The following contents may cause utter heart break. The author will not be held responsible for any possible sorrow, depression and regret (not taking my warning seriously) caused. read at own risk.

hmmmm... some of you may wonder... what could be better than owning an 'i heart revolution' cd? *pausing a few moments pretending to think hard, real hard*

i suggest. 'what about planetshakers live concert????' XD

here are the details.

PLANETSHAKERS LIVE IN MALAYSIA TOUR

Venue:
MPH, Sunway University College

Date:
Sunday, 13th April 2008

Time:
5.00 pm - 7.00 pm

Admission:
RM 100 RM200 RM300 RM 400 RM 500 (payable to MICHELLE TAN SZE-FAN)

or FREE =P

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i just found out that some of my KL friends who are not christians listen to their music because they like it. that's soooo cool. already invited them there.

who wants to teman me? hehhe. *excited* =]

stupid me

2008-04-02T21:46:00.002+08:00

lol. i always do stupid things. every time, i don't think of the consequences before doing something. i just care about play. play. PLAY. i'm very sorry to those i disappoint. to God. and also for myself. lol.

today, i realized some things that were so near to me. yet so far. i've been blind, insensitive all these while. i'm thankful for an angel who stopped me from being someone who i don't wanna be. from being someone i hate. someone i don't recognise.

i vow to at least THINK before i do sth. growing up is a painful process. although it doesn't have to be. but for ppl lk me, all that was necessary. i love you JESUS. =) please don't make me hurt You again.

i need to change

2008-03-23T00:36:00.002+08:00

I know i've been asked this question many many times.

"Do you know where you'll go after you die?"

I wasn't sure. I doubted. I think i failed Him. I disappointed Him over and over again. I am ashamed of myself. This wasn't supposed to happen. I mean, I'm like the older batch of IGNITE and yet... i couldn't even answer that question confidently. I couldn't bring myself to lift up my hand when Pastor Rajan asked who is sure where they'll be when they leave earth. I didn't want to lie. I am/was a failure. There are people who are younger in Christ more spiritually matured than me. oh. and yes i know, some ppl will look at me differently and say i should be very firm in Christ and don't know what else they will think. lol. i guess that's the price for being honest? hahha.

About two weeks ago, my friend in KL told me i have backslidden. i was indignant, although deep down, i know what he said is true. lol. It was the pride, the self-righteousness lurking inside me that i was not aware of. another yes, i am sensitive and very self-defensive.

Anyway, i want to change. Seriously. it's hard not having ppl to lead you in your faith when you're away from your comfort zone. It's also hard to keep my faith strong and not lose sight of the one that should have been my top priority.

I will blog about happier times soon? I hope.

and happy easter anyways =)

sat-lai-ness

2008-03-09T13:55:00.004+08:00

for this post, i will not desribe all details of the forbidden incident as someone has put it. hahhaa.

it was really embarrassing. lol. you know, i use com about 3-4 hours a day but i don't know how to use excel to do my statistical reasoning assignment. sat-lai-ness. haizzz..

we went in quite early to the lab. at the end of the lesson, one question i will never forget my lecturer asked me, " you came in late isit?" HAHA. coz everyone finish and i still doing it with another fren *ahem* (protect your identity and face.. faster thank me. haha)

the assignment had to be handed up that same day after that class and we initially thought that the tutor would wait for us to pass up (coz he promised so) manatau, when we finally finish, he disappeared with everyone's work.... >< we were so kin cheong and hurried to find him (you know lah, monash not like disted so small lol) after running up and down, we finally spotted him at our administration building entrance. he was already leaving the uni. lol relieve practically swept over us. after we passed up our stuff, we practically laughed our way back to the library. hahha.

just imagine if we didn't manage to reach him in time *shudders*

that.... was one truly memorable day.....

from now on, i must force my friend to study her statistics properly so we won't sat lai next time. XD

sleeping with the guys.. =P

2008-03-04T16:47:00.005+08:00

lol. before you all read my blog entry, don't simply think yet har XP

last night i went home at about 11.20pm. was enjoying my green tea in daiki cafe. lol.

after i reached home, wanted to take my midnight bath (i love bathing at night, very refreshing). was in the bathroom d, suddenly, the bathroom light was off. everything was so dark. i thought my cousins are playing tricks on me or what ( u know lah, guys are like that wan XP) haha.

i took out my phone, yea, i have my phone with me even when i go bathroom, luckily lol. i turned on my hp light, and walked out. everywhere also dark. ohhh... putus elektrik isit... ( i noe i sound chi dun >< haha)

cousins were down there getting ready for bed. then in the end, didn't want to sleep in my room alone, since i saw down there in the hall so lau juak so i went to join in the fun. haha. pindah my tilam, pillow, bolster, blanket down there and camping.

hugging his chao-chao. hehe
sleep also need to pose. =_=
sleep also holding handphone. geng. =P

anyway, they don't read my blog. so i'm safe!!! hahhhaa XD

but i hope they didn't take video of me snoring lah. although they threathened to when i took their pics ><

well, thank God that it rained heavily last night, so the weather was very cooling even without fan or air con. and the funny thing was, the houses in front of our house all no electricity but the houses behind our house all so brightly litted. lol.

start of something new =)

2008-02-27T22:31:00.003+08:00

i started my class on monday, 25th february 2008 after almost 3 months of lamnua-ing and lenggang-ing lol. for those of you who didn't know, i am now at Monash University doing my biotech course. (don't know I repeated how many times d. don't get me wrong, not because i famous BUT i told some ppl a zillion times they still forget) *vomits blood*

*wipes away blood smeared over mouth* got to know a few friends, which is good. but still trying to get used to life here. after this first week, you won't see me online or updating my blog so frequently already. i'll be buried behind huge mountains of assignments and lab reports and essays and class tests and exams and weekly presentations.... unending sorrows... I'm so dead.

somemore, now they have this software called turnitin, which can detect any form of plagiarism, even senior's reports lol. *sighs* for those who knew me since secondary school/ took SAM with me will surely know of my 'skill' in always doing my assignments very very the last minute, sometimes one day before the due date and sometimes i had to 'refer' to some very kind-hearted friend's work to know what and how to do my work. sometimes, i had to be reminded by ppl only i know got work need to pass up ( you all know my blurriness lah) so....... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME lol.

btw, i told you all i just started my class, but then i almost went fishing for every lecture. (that's why you all NEED to pray for me T.T) AND Chem is HARD....... arghhhhhhhh.... i didn't do my revision but then, the lecturer was going so fast and everyone else seemed to have understood what she was talking about. zzz. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

oh yea, today was first day of CF meeting. went early for the prayer meeting at about 4.30pm (did not manage to catch a movie --> step up 2). the prayer lasted very long, about one hour. then the service started and we played some games. one of them was letting ppl guess what song you are singing but you have to use the words from a magazine as 'lyrics'. we were then divided into groups. guess what. my group ppl asked me go out and represent my team (maybe coz i was too innocent and senang dibuli. haiz. OR they wanna hear me sing? XD OR coz i was the only one new?. tak tau.)

guess what. i took up the challenge. don't know why i did not really feel any fear. the song i chose was 'one way'. it was quite amusing. but i think, it was great. coz i was finally brave enough to go out and make fun of myself. haha. there's a first time for everything and i feel good =)

had bbq after that at the opn space on top of the library. got to know more bros and sis-in-Christ. but sadly, there was no one doing the same course as me. haiz.

anyway, praise God that i'm still kuai kuai. still the same old michelle. =P

of donuts...

2008-02-23T12:22:00.005+08:00

these are donuts from J Co. which t-yee kept on and on advertising about how nice, how soft, how delicious it was lol. (You would think she was involved in the business XP) but i have to admit that they look really nice *aiks*

(pictures courtesy of t-yee, extracted from http://www.t-yee.blogspot.com/)

say NO to plagiarism XD

actually, i'm here to admit that i have donut-o-phobia (word can only be found on the limited edition of sf's dictionary. hehe. don't you think it's creative? with the 'o' between 'donut' and 'phobia' lol cause donuts have an 'o' in the middle wert. >.-)

i shall stop crapping and resume with my confession lol.

1) how did it happen?

- this tradegy all started with my dad buying a box of dunkin donuts on our way back home from KL.

2) why? did it taste bad?

- nope. it was really good actually.

3) (=.=) then WHY???...

- *mumbles* cis. no patience at all. wanna know everyhing. kayposssss. =P

*clears throat* ok ok. -resume- we suffered for 1 hour in the car, craving for the loo. but that time we were already on the penang bridge, with the usual traffic constipations (jams i mean), no toilet in sight. *sighs a lot* thinking about the bad past lol.

4) what happened when you all reach home?

- er.. no need to elaborate kua.. not very proper. use you kidneys! haha. or rather the things that look like kidneys in your skull. it was the WORST food poisoning ever happened in my life. the whole ordeal lasted 3 days i think.

5) what you learn/do after this suffering?

- firstly, i'm thankful that we had many toilets in our house haha. secondly, i vowed silently in my heart never to eat anymore dunkin donuts. no matter how tempting they may look to all of you, i'll NEVER and i repeat, NEVER try their donuts again. so please NEVER EVER chia me dunkin donuts. *thoughtful* i have a feeling i will regret what i said just now. ahh.. nevermind.

BUT since t-yee and my cousins speaks highly of J Co. maybe i'll give it a try lah. as long as it's not dunkin's. ahaha.

er... these are my future uni mates. very intereting photogenic ppl =)

(t-yee, told you i won't delete them. but publicise them =P)

update: they're very nice pics. everyone looks nice lah. huiyoh. don't simply say ugly lah ty =.=

isn't she just sooo adorable?

2008-02-22T21:06:00.003+08:00

this is my niece, my very very adorable niece. i envy her lol. so cute. wanna pinch her cheeks till red redand pong pong like apple. hehe.

*sighs* i was not so fortunate when i was little. small eyes, skinny, boyish, wears specs (i had cocked eyes) and uglyyyyyy. lol. that was why my younger sister who had big, shining, brown eyes, fluffy cheeks lol stole all the limelight from me. everyone wanted to go near her, pinch her (ouch!), carry her. she got all the attention. everybody simply adored her. i can't deny that i wasn't a bit jealous of her. haha. that's only the most natural thing to do riteeee. but now i'm not lah. XP

and mind you, i didn't suffer from any psychological problems or feel depressed coz of the lack of attention la. lol.

*sighs again* i hope i can 'create' a baby as cute or cuter than them next time. haha. not so soon lah. and of course is after proper marriage =.= .

first day of orientation

2008-02-20T20:53:00.003+08:00

18th of february was my first day of orientation. starts at 1.30pm. but cousin has to reach there by 8.30 (student council wan.. siao siao XP) so i woke up at 7.30am. had 4 hours sleep only. my cousins dota-ed til 3, they very luan so i couldn't sleep (actually, i see they so excited playing, i also excited till couldn't sleep lol) --> lame excuse.

met with some friends in uni. tee yee, ying xuan, wei kwong and yong hoong. wk and yh brought us newbies tour around the uni. very big. can easily get lost and was puffing hard by the end of the "tour" lol. ( although i have been brisk walking everyday with my cousins but no satisfiable results also *sigh*)

someone suggested for us to go to sunway pyramid since still got lots of time to waste, some of us went loh ( including me of coz =P)

reached sunway at 11.30am. my very rich fren wanted to go ice skating. i went loh. 13 dollars for entrance fee (can stay there for whole day) and 8 dollars for the gloves. luckily we wore socks so didn't have to waste 4 dollars. (now in KL have to be more thrifty coz parents not there to pay for me d T.T)

mr-act-clever-wk said he more pro than me but he fell more times than me and looks more wobbly LOL. even got kid laugh at him. eng kai XP as for me, i fell 2 times ONLY. then after that can skate a bit lah. hehe. but ankles and feet damn pain, the shoes too hard d. but worth it for the fun hehe. ~ I LOVE TO PLAY~ =)

since my seniors told me the orientation very boring and not important at all, i decided to stay longer loh, dun waste the money also mah since so expensive. hehe. excuses again XP.

we played till 2 sth then catch a bus back to uni. hehehe. reached at 3pm and the talk ends at 3.30pm. perfect timing. why? coz i needed only about 30 minutes sleep heheh. jk lah. i not that bad, must respect the ppl in front.

acting pro =P ~~

coincidences

2008-02-15T23:34:00.003+08:00

today i was the last one to wake up lol. *whispers* coz i slept at 4am this morning. aiks.

so i took breakfast before i went over to daiki cafe (very nice place at ss15 with reasonable and good food PLUS free wi-fi, somemore got air con). yup, i am doing free advertisement haha but what i said is true ler.

asswhy wanted to go sunway's popular to get some books and i followed him coz i wanna get some stationaries. well, i practically went to the shopping complex dressed very chin-chai (actually i my pyjamas >.<) coz i don't noe many ppl in KL mah and strangers wouldn't care about how i look lol.....

MANATAU when wanna go down the escalator, i thought i saw someone familiar, but i wasn't very sure so i didn't bother. but out of the corner of my eyes, i saw her pointing at me to her friends and they all stared hard at me. scary. lol. i looked up and smiled at her. gosh.. i didn't know that may yee was in KL, long time didn't get in touch with her d. how embarrassing with me dressing lidat haiz.. TT

after dinner, asswhy, shin yih and i went to collect tickets for JUMPER which we booked earlier. went to the arcade centre which was quite nice. played a few rounds of mini games. then, the boys played house of the dead 4, didn't join them.

JUMPER was quite nice le. somemore got cute actor haha. my very-IN-and-up-to-date-auntie and mr ed also joined us. not gonna talk about the movie, later ppl scold me for spoiling all the fun. =P

after the movie was over, wanted to go back d and someone tapped on my back. OMG. another penangite, college friend, whom i call rabbit.

hmmm.. who noes KL can be so small too... *winks*

lesson learnt: try to dress at least more appropriately. although i think that comfort still comes before looks. ><

euphoria

2008-02-14T11:28:00.004+08:00

hehhe. i am sooooo happie...

i just got my Valentine's present... =D
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.

don't simply think lah.
.
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.
.
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.
.
it's from my parents ---> my valentines!!. hehe.

one clue: it's in white~~

so, happy valentine's day =)

happy S.A.D

2008-02-13T09:58:00.002+08:00

still trying to settle in, thankful for wonderful cousins and aunties who tried to make me feel more at home. i really appreciate their help and care =)

went to ACTS church on sunday. very interesting that they sing their own songs (the songs their ppl composed) and the ppl there are extremely friendly. hehe. but i still very miss IGNITE =(

my course only starts on the 25th, so, basically nowadays have nth much to do, except to laze around and get fatter and fatter. lol. i took the time to assemble some furnitures and also reading 'The Chronicles of Narnia'.

anyway, tmr is my S. A. Day. every year also same. ahha. but i'm not depressed or what lah. mind you. =P

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm.. do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes or No?

well.. it is actually LUST not LOVE.

how could you love someone you don't even know?
nowadays a lot of ppl just look at the physical side and simply fall in 'love'. how shallow =.=

LOVE = willingly accepting another person although he/she has his faults and flaws

hmmm... cheem.. i think i'm still not matured for this kinda thing...

so, let's enjoy our S.A. Day!!! XD

oh btw, for those who didn't know.. S.A.D. means Single Awareness Day lol.

latest pic! =)

sze-fan's senseless scribblings

Tread carefully

At the Crossroads

Friendship and Complication

words

the light

Forgive

Left out?

irony

tacky phrase

hold my hand

lil bird

michelle... michelle...

100th post

the strings

victor, not a victim :)

An exciting morning

Examsss

Forwarded email: "How can I discern whether I am in a healthy or abusive fellowship?"

on priorities

happies birthdayss <3

car wash~

just thankful

safe and sound :)

sad but true :(

meteor rain

lately..

i am unreachable..

tic-tac-toe

the gifts :)

the holidays :D

*cough**cough*

living with the consequences

His grace

cross my heart

trip to puchong worth RM134

the fire

just another busy week

i want plastic surgery :(

duriansss runtuh

only a piece of my mind

A prayer

Celebrating Valentine's Day

penawar untuk ke-boring-an

i have a job now

snail mails!

je t'aime

pictures from floral fest

floral fest

people who helped me survive a year in monash

the long delayed tag =)

I'm still single. XD

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

unordered

cha-pa-lang

at winnie's place

summary for month of september

maybe it's for the best

"a prayer for my busy lil fan"

the poem in her sms <3

monash ball

material things

of concerts and conferences

well...

day of firsts

rawang trip

singapore trip

tagged by jie

resolutions for the new semester

overnights

i might as well....

key to success in relationships

daddy's day

come back...

i have a secret *shh*

family dayS

hillsong concert

contribution from 4Cs

woohoo =D

i met another me

i have a secret shh