Dear readers, this is a meaningful article that i feel will benefit both singles and married ppl. Those who are still single may learn something from here...Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve yourmarriage & relationship ... DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
that was supposed to be a joke if you don't know lol.
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighingon your mind. Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love withyour spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch,and liked their idiosyncrasies(unconventional behavior/habit. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.
In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" inlove... Because it's happening TO YOU . People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria(excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely,phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not alwayswelcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies , instead ofbeing cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between theinitial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angrysubsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry theright person?"
As you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is themost obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV,or abusive substances.
BUT the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afew years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy . And most importantly,it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriagework. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific thingsyou can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), thereare also laws for relationships.Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger,certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.It's a direct cause and effect.
If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love . Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Remember this always : "God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."
afterthought:
well, a meaningful article it is no doubt. anyway don't ask me why i put this article up all of a sudden and when am i getting married.
to avoid any more questions, i will say that i am getting married on 31st august. so remember my ang paus. remember, on 31st august 2017 yeahh. who is the groom? i don't know YET. hahhahaaaaha
(as you can see, CHEMISTRY really is messing up with my head now! ARGH.... out of 21 questions, i can only do less than 10. Help!)
anyway, countdown: 1 DAY!!!! =D
