sze-fan's senseless scribblings

sometimes I just wish I didn't have to do it.
sometimes I just wish I wasn't involved at all.
to be free. to not have to worry. to not have to carry it alone.
this is just that kind of time.

Help me God! Give me strength! Help me to look beyond the flaws of humans to see Your purpose in doing all these.

wondering how one wrong can overwrite the many rights.
self-centered human nature.

teach me how to be more like You Jesus. teach me how to love even when I am hurt and disappointed.

yeah, so I got into a stranger's car and sat so comfortably at the back seat until my supposed "friend" turned around and I discovered he wasn't my friend. and the whole time, my friend was in the car in front witnessing the whole thing. epic. and someone posted on the monash confession page, must be one of my mischievous friend, i will get you. *evil laughs*

okay.. so I was so super tired that I didn't even bother online-ing for last few days and just fell asleep.
I dreamt of scolding my cousins (poor them) for not wanting to fetch me home when I was outside stranded with my pyjamas. bizarre.

Why does this have to happen again?
When you thought someone was so strong, they fell in the most unpredictable manner.
Why did you not learn from her mistakes?
Why do you want to go through the heartache again?
Did you not see enough?
It pains me to have to see history repeat itself, to see this destroy someone I love. Again.

Just watched some videos on Israel and Palestine. What a revelation.

It just teaches me over and over again not to judge when we don't know the facts. It's so easy to base our 'knowledge' on just what others say or feel. We all have brains, use them. Don't be ignorant. The facts are out there, it's up to you whether you want to follow the crowd or you really know what you're supporting.

What everyone says doesn't make it true. Think again. 

Ola... yes! I'm back :P
But don't know if the blog will suddenly go on hibernation mode for ages again?
anyway, since the blogging trend is dying, there will be not many people who will be reading this. XD
time to practice my writing again! I have been having mental verbal constipation trying to write a manuscript on my project. God, help me!

To go, to stop or to back off?

I am here.

Is it even possible? What would You want me to do? I need You to guide my steps.

Sometimes the best thing you can say is nothing at all.

Did you know that the Light came before the sun?

Forgiveness is not about trusting the person again or forgetting everything that happened. It's about letting go and letting God.

“Encourage anyone who feels left out, help all who are weak, and be patient with everyone.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14 (CEV)

When you are feeling neglected, overlooked, or ignored, what is your natural reaction? It depends on your personality, but you will probably either want to withdraw and take the approach of “you ignore me and I’ll ignore you,” or you’ll seek out a way to get that person’s attention. Either way, it’s all about you.

God wants you to choose a different reaction. With his controlled power, he wants you to make the gentle choice to focus on others. If you’re feeling neglected, chances are somebody else is feeling that way too, and you have the opportunity to do something for him or her because you can empathize.

Finding someone to encourage will get you out of the downward spiral of self-pity; you are now looking out for others and seeking to make a difference in their lives.

As today’s verse tells us, it’s important to look for someone who most other people wouldn’t encourage. A lot of people like to encourage or help powerful people because it might give them a leg up on something. But God wants us to “encourage anyone who feels left out” and “help those who are weak” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 CEV).

Who do you need to encourage? Take a moment to consider someone you know who might be feeling neglected or overlooked. Maybe it’s somebody in your office, school or neighborhood.

Then take some time to follow Hebrews 10:24 and “think of ways to encourage one anther to outbursts of love and good deeds” (NLT). Maybe write them a quick note or take them out to lunch.

Those small acts have the power to change not only their lives, but yours as well. Instead of turning inward and allowing neglect to eat away at you, turn outward and use God’s power in your life to serve others. It’s ministry, it’s powerful, and it makes a difference.

- So hard to do but yet so true.

why am i afraid to show that i care?

I no longer feel empty now, because you are holding my hand.
Accompanying me through times of pain, times of joy, times of stoning...

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I love you, Bonia! :P


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Holidays ending. Did not complete ANY work. shucks! :( *naikgila*

Was on the way to the library when i saw amira near the field, bending down like she's trying to find something under the bushes. Wanted to help her. so i kaypo-edly went over and asked what she was up to. She told me she was looking for worms to feed a pitiful-looking baby bird she saw underneath a tree. It got separated from its mother.

In the end, she found a baby snail. She tried to make the baby bird eat it. But the baby thinks it doesn't look appetizing. Moreover, its beak can't really reach inside the shell. So, Amira wanted to scrape the meat out with a chopstick but I told her the chopstick is too fat to reach into the shell too.

She then decided to scrape the snail meat out with her bare fingers. She took out a black long stringy thing from the shell and kind heartedly fed it to the lil bird who should be very hungry by then. The bird took some parts of it. After a few seconds later, Amira looked at me and said she hope the thing on her hands wasn't the snail poo.

so cute-lah! :P

*very amused*



why do people try to keep something that willl fly away in the end?

What is Michelle like? I shall allow u to peep into her (life) a bit.

The other day, she went to Queensbay with her sister who wanted to go to the maxis centre for some reasons but didn't know where it was. Michelle wanted to go popular for other reasons too. So they both went to popular first. When Michelle was waiting to pay for stuff at the cashier, she asked her sister to go to the big directory in front of dave's deli to check where the maxis centre was. Her sister went out obediently and came back in less than 2 minutes to say that the place was just next to popular. *ahem*

Soooooo, together they went to maxis. Michelle wanted to change her basic prepaid plan to youth club plan. She told the girl at the counter that she tried for almost 5 times but simply couldn't change her plan. She confirmed with the girl that she has more than 15 dollars credit as changing of prepaid plan requires a charge of 8 dollars. The girl asked for her full name, IC number, phone number and various details. Then, Michelle gave the girl the phone to help her with the process. The girl, after fidgeting with her phone for few minutes, looked up at her intently, then showed her the phone screen which stated, "Hotlink Youth Club. Balance: RM24.70"... She was also smiling very sweetly
:)


*embarassing* lol

WOW. this is my 100th post. LOL.

happy 100th post to my bloggie!!!

it's funny.
how i used to blog about happier things, random stuffs i did.
now i only have the mood to blog mostly when i need to express my negative feelings.
people change.
looks like some good changes actually did come with some bad effects. lol.

"when you get something, you also lose something else."
so true.