sze-fan's senseless scribblings

the window to my life.

You said, i'm the one who brought you most intense pain & hurt along with happiness.
You said, we are not like others, we would remain friends even if I couldn't accept you.
You said, you would keep on waiting but now you've given up and i thank God for that.
You said, we'll be strangers now and maybe we'll become friends again someday.
You said, you're afraid to meet me because you don't know how to react or you won't know what to say.
You said, you'll avoid me to the extent where you'll skip church.

I say. it's good to not contact each other for the time being as it will fasten the healing process.
I say. it's good for you to forget me because i don't think i can bring you any happiness now, even as friends.
I say. it's wrong and foolish of you to stop going to church because of some stupid friction between me and you. You could just go to a church elsewhere. and don't blame God (although you would deny that).
I say. i'm sorry i have to hurt you over and over again.
I say. you think too much and sometimes it really annoys me.
I say. i hate avoiding people.
I say. i will just go on with my life and not let this affect me.


I say. as much as i detested you and hated you in the past (and i repent), i just hope that one day we would become friends again, just normal friends is sufficient for me.

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing fan into my lfe.

Thank you for sending someone that cares for me and i can care for.

Thank you for giving me someone to hold on to when life gets rough and someone to laugh with when life is easier.

As fan goes through the remainder of the day, i pray that You will watch over her.

When she is frustrated, You'll let her find rest and peace in You.

When she is tired, You'll be her strength for with Your strength, old feet shall not falter nor young feet stumble.

Bless that fellowship that she has with her friends and also that in all that she does, she does it for your glory.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

very sweet =) it made my day alright. hehh.

"A friend is sweet when it's new

But it's sweeter when it's true.

But you know what?

It's sweetest when it's you.

Years my fly, tears may dry

But my friendship with you will never die.

A friend gives hope when life is low.

A friend is a place when you have nowhere to go.

All the best in your exams fan." =)

This is why i love her =) we were just in the same class for one year and it's like we've known each other our whole lives, we were stuck wth each other, posting snail mails to each other during holidays and became best friends ever since. we are really comfortable in each other's company, we enjoy hugging each other all the time. i really am grateful and thankful for meeting someone amazing and sweet like her.

To her: take care and let's hang out more often okayy. hope you'll get to come for the bloom conference, you can stay at my aunt's house and let's tell stories till late night XD

DISCLAIMER (especially for TTY's eyes): Miss Michelle Tan Sze-Fan will not be held responsible for any consequences resulting from the scary/ugly/fierce/weird-looking pics posted below. Tread on at own risk.


*sigh* why do i have to do this post? *sulks* because i promised someone.

To that someone, be grateful okayyy. my image at risk d =/


with business frens (two models by my side) lol i have small eyes TT

them again. plus one odd engineering student =P

look at david's expression HAHA XD

hmmmm... =P

with victor, the phtographer. purposely put up this pic coz others a lil small ><


anyway, special thanks to yingxuan who helped me find the make-up artist cum hairstylist lol. and she helped me tie my scarf too (but came out in the end ><) very helpful indeed =)

and thanks to my friend (although only accompanied halfway) for trying your best to help me feel comfortable.

have been receiving a few things these few days. just want to show off a lil. hahha.

got this for helping my friend out in some events.

got this bangle during emerge from bea's guy fren, daniel. he gave me coz his hand couldn't go in. XD she has one in white too.

bought these 4 books during the MPH book fair in Dewan Komuniti Bandar Utama. had special discounts because my cousin was a member =D 4 books for about RM50 only. good bargain! hehe. but haven't started on any books yet. want to borrow my cousin's 'men are from mars, women are from venus' first. heh.

got this erm.. mask that looks like power rangers from a cheeky friend who used it during his orientation week with juniors lol. maybe too ugly so he didn't want it. hahahhaha. anyway it was not me who said it was ugly ok.... =X but thanks though XD very MEANINGFUL gift. hahaha. i am very sincere.

happy birthday to dear winnie( still dunno why she chose a name like this lol) or better known as yi wei. already wished her thrice. hahaha. see how uu sim i am XD

as you all can see, she's a lil narcissist. but then, that's okay with me. i can accept her for who she is. that's what friends are for rite. *winks* =P

one thing i love about KL is the unending cool christian concerts and conferences =)

this year alone, i went for the planetshaker's at sunway college hall, hillsong concert in glad tidings with some fellow penangites =), passion conference at sunway convention centre, revoluton conference in ACTS and not forgetting, EMERGE.

just love all these events =D awesomeness! always feel refreshed after attending them. get to jump and sing.

anyway i will only choose to talk about the last three concerts as others were over very very long ago and sorry i did not update on those.


Passion Conference

was there with CF members, tickets only forRM20, very cheap =) considering i had the chance to see chris tomlin, charlie hall (bald withlong beard, kinda weird but cool *wink*), and of coz one of my favourite speakers now, louie giglio (from the indescribable video some of you watched in camp, which i did not attend =( but then, i got to see him in person!!! HHAHHAA *evil grin*)

me with aileen, my cucu =)

together with CF members


it happened in ACTS church, the one i'm attending right now. very cool, they sang their own songs and had a few bands consisting of their own church members performing, like army three band and four letter story band. i especially love their dance, they had hip-hop, breakdance and the cool heartbeat thingy with one person in the middle which i don't know how to describe lol.

oh yeah, praise God i managed to bring my cousin, shin yih (with alarize's help) to attend the concert too, he enjoyed the band too =)

EMERGE Concert

felt so happy i was able to attend the concert, not because of the concert itself but i got to meet bea at last. so bad of her, came to KL, went shopping all over the city but did not come and meet me =( anyway we had fun and shared some stories, update each other on our lives, it was good =) of course, we seized the opportunity to take pictures with my lao ia hp with only 2 mega pixels camera. we took many pictures because someone is clearly not experienced in taking pictures, doesn't know about lighting stuff and distance (i'm talking lk an expert but i know i'm not hahhaa but i do know basics =P) we take pictures until we were not aware we blocked a group of ppl from making to the exit. TERUK! ahhaha. we are both very blur ppl, totally unaware of our surroundngs lol and always bringing embarrassment to ourselves. XD

anyway, there was a lot of competitions in the concert, lk the fashion design competition, fastest talking competition and word power competition. wanna know what's the word power competition about? there's a group of 3 ppl who were asked to pick a number from the lot and then dictate out a few verses which they chose randomly. amazing ler. was so shocked, they even remember all those commas, full stops and dashes at the right places. i was awestruck, seriously.

with my dear beatrice. still love her no matter how badly she treated me. very one-sided. *sighs* hahahha.