sze-fan's senseless scribblings

the window to my life.

received two snail mails on yesterday alone! =) so happy lahh.

seldom got ppl send letters the traditionally (and more meaningful, uh sim way)


she made me jealous of postman because she write at the back 'thanks mr or mrs or miss postman (woman)! have a nice day!' is much much longer than the 'happy new year 2009' she wrote for me inside. oh well but it's from other country wor. counted got heart lah! =) thanks girl!

the front part so cute lah!

it's very pretty considering it's made by two guys! LOL

this other card is totally unexpected. my cousins from kl first time write letter leh!!! woots! i'm so lucky lahh somemore it's homemade, they cut and paste everything so nice lahh. hehe. thanks boys! =) i'll be waiting for my PRO badminton racquet!!

PS: it took me more than half an hour to upload these three pics =.=

no, i did not put the wrong title for this post and please don't feel cheated LOL

yes, i love you so i want you to come for a christmas drama in dewan sri penang. you can read the details for yourself in the above picture =) do come! you'll enjoy it! contact me if you interested to come! (see the words 'free admission'? XD) zenxern i'm not selling tickets ok lol
i love my family.
I love my daddy.
I love my mummy.
I love my sister.
I love my brother. =)
random but i feel the need to put it down lol.

Pictures as promised lol. all are unphotoshopped and original taken by yours truly. I put this up to prove someone wrong XD

I saw it. You have no idea how much it hurts. DON'T ASK ME WHAT IT IS. It is like plunging a blunt knife into my heart, trying to stab it in over and over again to make sure it goes through the cardiac muscle, passing all my connective tissues into the cold cruel air. lol. I will get it right. I need your grace God. and to someone, I'm sorry I failed terribly and may have hurt you many times. I'm not trying to defend myself here but please feel me. please look at the matter from my perspective. sorry i have aways misunderstood you. I was stupid and ignorant to think from the responses you always give me, you've always did not give a damn about me and did not want me to draw close or even care about you. Lord, I need wisdom and strength.

i know this is a very late notice but to those who are free on the 1st and 2nd of december (which is tomorrow and the day after), please come to botanical gardens for the floral fest. I will be there in the afternoon from 12.30 to 5.00 pm. Helping my fave bio teacher Miss Lai! =)

there wil be activites such as bird watching and hiking and many more in the morning although i won't be there. lol. must come support our MNS booth yeah! buy the handmade cinammon candle holder especially! I did it one okay (only those nice ones, others not nice one is done by chiaming and shin juey =P jkjk)

see ya! =D
btw, just now went with uncle william they all to visit chiaming. he forced us to be his models LOL. what to do. can't protest coz he treated us to very nice lorong susu's chicken rice. will get the pics from him soon.

where shall i begin?

well, this post is dedicated to my group of friends who (refer to title pls). without them, i would not have passed my exams and without their help, i would have done extremely badly. they are my saviours who helped me to brave the unending waves of stupid/mind-boggling/tough/useless/whatever-you-wanna-call-it assignments, online quizzes, essays. =) thanks guys (and girls)!

Them (alphabetical order):

Chin Zen Xern (i hope you not pantang red colour ><)

Statistics pro. Maths genius. More like a gentlemen compared to other guys in the gang. But kinda cheeky at times as he loves pulling ppl's hairband out. =.= and he's the only one taking environmental science but going to australia. =(

Good luck there! and take care yeah. (can trade assignments sometimes too since we still same course with diff lecturer! XD)

I just realized i did not take any pics with her alone ><

Fimtan Prety Mareta

Happy-go-lucky. Don't have the opportunity to mix much with her as she self studies at hostel most of the time. lol.

Good luck for your this sem's exams. I believe you will do quite well this time =)

i like this pic (look at her lips!) although i look so pale in it.

Foo Chuan Ching

Was kinda scared of her at first. Didn't dare to talk to her =P but after mixing with her long, she's okay lahh.. friendly to some and one kind to others hahahhaa. but thank God she can talk to me lahh. Loves to talk about her life in Paris which is kinda interesting. She always has a lot food around her (esp beginning of the year) and loves forcing people to eat her food too =)

Won't be seeing you for about 4 months. I will miss you =) Have fun in work and do continue blogging.

Kiung Jeou Yee

Quiet at times (like me, that's what yx said =.=). Talks weird. Can really eat. Slow and steady. Kinda passive. Sometimes goes to CF with me. Overall a nice guy but needs to learn tobe more gentlemanly (LOL i'm like doing a evaluation on these ppl hahhaa whatever la =P)

Please lah. Must learn how to be a man ok =P jkjk

Lean Lee Ming

Tall. Walks like tai kor. Supplier of TVB dramas. Very hardworking although he plays hard too. Miss Elaine Chew's favourite. A little shy at times (esp during his spiderman act). Quite helpful as he helped me do my first two masteringbio quizzes XD. But still, like Jeou Yee, has to learn to be more gentlemanly lahh. (at least this one OCCASIONALLY holds the doors open for us)

Enjoy yourself in US. Take a lot of pics and please take care of your mummy TY.

Shane Tan Wei Shang

Known him since Disted days. Always excel in his studies. Fast learner. Take good pictures and i'm waiting for him to teach me how to use photoshop! =P Good body and broad shoulders. My dancing partner. His mind kinda twisted at times lol. Sometimes the things he says a bit geli lah. hahaha. But he's a very helpful person who doesn't mind sharing and teaching others.

Thanks for your help all along the way. Be a good boy in US ok and take care of the mummy also lah. And please take nice nice pictures so can show us when you're back =)

Tan Tee Yee

Siao po. We share common interests (food and typative) except for her fondness of cj7. Takes me in when I have no place to stay. Makes real nice milo (can be a good mum of elizabeth and edward or edmund). Very good memory, can remember all the dates and ppl's birthday o.O Gonna teach me swimming someday. Any problems also can find her. Very good listener and she somemore can help you scold the other person and go wack him/her up XD (that's why i like to tell her loh). Always do sat lai things (like me lah). And she's the person i chat most with on msn (the chat log full message came out i thnk 7 times d in the past 8 months LOL).

Nah, i ask your two sons to take care of you in US d. So don't complain they won't chai you ok. lol. I know I'm gonna miss you very very much =(

chose this because i don't look like your mum here =P

Tan Ying Xuan

A nice and helpful girl. Petite. With many guys chasing after her. Whole day promote me for free hahhaa. The only person in our gang who is more ladylike, knows how to wears skirts and dresses. I admire her bravery and strength in trying to overcome or ignore those things that bother her.

look forward to you joining me for services and christmas drama, hopefully you can make it =) take care yeah and be strong.

Random pictures and of course, memories..

during pc fair outside nando's

MNSM Barbeque Night

Dance lesson for Monash Ball

Fattening ourselves up at shogun

The girls =)

I heart all of you! <3>Thanks for making uni life more livable and enjoyable! =D


[01] Real name: Michelle Tan Sze-Fan

[02] Nickname: Seefat, Sea Fan Coral, Michie, Fan Fan

[03] Married: *rolls eyes* =P

[05] Gender: Female

[06] Age: 19

[07] High School: SMJK Perempuan China Pulau Pinang

[08] College: Disted College

[09] Height: 164cm? (not sure)

[10] Weight: increasing everyday, unsure too

[11] Do you like yourself: sometimes

[12] Piercings: ears only

[13] Right of left: both

[14] Are you a freak : badminton and spongebob freak

[15] Hair: black

[16] Skin: looks fair from my face but four limbs very dark

[17] Allergic: No (thank God i get to eat EVERYTHING! XD)

[18] What are you doing now: duh.

[19] What will you doing 1hour later: waking ppl up in the middle of the night playing piano!

[20] What will you doing 10 years later: i don’t even know what will happen tomorrow (besides morning go uni, lowyat then shogun, movie and overnight in hostel hehe)


[21] Live with mother/father/parents: currently living in with 2 guys (cousins lah chill.. ) and a very nice aunty

[22] Siblings(included you): 3

[23] Eldest: Me

[24] Youngest: Nicholas

[25] Love/hate your family: I loved them and has learnt to love them more as i grow older


[26] You found your another half: No

[27] If yes, who is he/she: -

[28] If no, who you want he/she to be: -

[29] Time(s) you in relationship: lol i’ve never had a bf but had a few more than friends (considered relationship? lol)

[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): No

[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): haha

[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: -

[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: -

[34] Ever argue with your other half: -

[35] You with your other half since: -

[36] Are you straight/Lesbo: Straight

[37] Reasons you love your other half: -

[38] You and your other half in which stage: -

[39] You woo he/she or he/she woo you: -

[40] Ever think of marry he/she: -


[41] Your first best friend: Beatrice

[42] Your first enemy: a small boy who pinched me in kindy

[43] The friends you love the most: Those around me and in my thoughts =)

[44] The enemy you hate the most(1only): -

[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: everyone is beautiful in their own right

[46] Your most handsome boy friend: wait till i find one handsome one (just kidding! =P)

[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: i don’t know yet

[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: playboy

[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: Yup

[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: No

[51] If your friend backstabbing you: Make her regret her whole life! (Pulau Tikus tai kar cheh speaking XD)

[52] If your friend betray you: refer to above

[53] If your friend woo your lover: errr.. intro her another better one? lol

[54] If your friends fall in love with you: hmmm =/ see who lah[

55] If you fall in love with your best friend: she’s a girlie =.= but i love her lah


[56] Are you a good student: I may appear to be one but am not

[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Yes but without all my friends’ help i can do almost nothing. Thank yousss =)

[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: Miss Lai Ee May

[59] Always late to school/college: No

[60] Your class: -

[61] You love your seniors: some

[62] Senior who you love the most: -

[63] Your classmates good/bad: Good

[64] Excellent result classmate: Joshua

[65] Laziest classmate: Me?

*took out the whole section as i don’t know what to write*
But yx already gave mepermission “alter the questions if you feel uneasy with them or maybe ignore some questions.. "


[76] Lip or eyes: Eyes

[77] Hugs or kisses: Hugs

[78] Shorter or taller: Taller

[79] hesitant or spontaneous: Spontaneous

[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: Stomach (the one thing i don’t have for a very very very very long time)

[81] Listener or talker: Talker

[82] Romantic or rich: Romantic

[83] Good husband or Good Father: Husband (if he’s a good husband, then he will obey everything i command him to do, including taking care of the kids so i can go out badminton or what =P)


[84] Age to get marry: 28 (like my parents)

[85] Numbers of kid(s): 2 or 3

[86] Career: Environmentalist or Social Worker(my husband must be rich lah lidat)

[87] Salary: More than enough (not yet adding monthly allowances from husband =P)

[88] Retirement age: 55

[89] Properties value: -

[90] Wishes: A lot. From travelling around the world, to finding the right ONE, to everyone around me being happy =)

With reference to my title, it is my decision and a good thing too. haha. get the hint? =P anyway, shamrina forwarded this entertaining e-mail to me which i would like to share. enjoy~=)

Why Ladies today are still single?

1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have No money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.


'Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.'

God Offers Comfort to All

3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.

4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Praise Him =)

something bugged me just now, suddenly have no mood to study (although exams are like 2 weeks away and i have not realy started.. yes. i'm serious, dead serious *very heavy sigh*)

since i couldn't study, wanted to find refuge in msn. lol. chatted for like 2 hours and found that many people are also facing their own problems.

fact: everyone faces problems.

but.... i thank God that i have people around me just to hear me out . i heart them a lot =)

felt like crying (not sad, but just randomly want to express my feelings, very mixed up feelings haha... sad--> one kind problem, happy--> ppl who are very patient with me)

and feel like hugging someone.

who wants a hug?

by comforting others in their grief and consoling them on their problems, i feel somewhat happier myself too. i want to make people smile even when i'm sad, so that i can smile with them too. by hugging someone, you're also being hugged by that person. by helping others, i help myself to forget about unhappy stuff.


i really don't mind making many cups of hot milo =P

Very Early Christmas + Motivational Card

sea coral fan =.=
yes, you got it right. christmas wish in october (or rather september) lol. this girl very sweet though =) she had to wish me early as she will not be in msia during the year end. (too bad she doesn't get to see me in christmas drama) =P have fun yeahhh! take a lot of pics and show me. *whispers* smuggle back some baskin too! there very cheap >< my very yeng cousin
wanan know why say him yeng ah? cause he treated me to starbucks chocolate frapuccino with no cream venti size! XD actually a few girls say him yeng also lah but he my cousin so i don't know ler. say no to incest! =P
love the environment there. =) stayed for a few hours there, we paid for the environment too so must enjoy to the MAX! (ks)

CF Hiking to Templar's Park

all of us soaking wet, well, most of us lah (those who know how to have fun =P)
the 5 of us (tyee, shane, lm, cc and yours truly)
this is a pretty picture.
posing >< as usual, i sweat profusely =.= unlike miss foo who didn't sweat at all zzzz *envy* (but maybe she unhealthy that's why haha jk jk)

at the base of the hill, still looking fresh and semangat
where was i looking at? >< me and the miss foo
tyee fell down and i helped wash her wound (peter commented i looked motherly =.=)
sliding down the waterfall after having a very good back massage =)
PS: seeeee!! i updated on CF hiking d. cannot nag me d someone =P

posing XD
tze hui braided yi wei's hair, quite nice =)
taking pic with the wine *cough* (sparkling juice) three of us bought haha
yi wei made me do this o.O
she pose nicer. pro d. lol

ain't she cute, laughed like a child
the three nocturnal animals that talked till wee hours in the morning
she practically laughed till she fell to the ground. swt
me and tze hui
in this pic, yi wei looked like she has got a crush on tze hui. eih! don't snatch her from me ok! =P

the girls had a great time. we baked cornflakes cookies and pandan cake which came out really well (*ahem* of course lah, we used NONA mah "shhhhh... =X") made tze hui overnight with us at yi wei's house. she was supposed to be studying for her finals this coming week... but... ><>

PS: pictures taken with my lousy 2MP camera phone and all came out orangey lol.