I know i've been asked this question many many times.
"Do you know where you'll go after you die?"
I wasn't sure. I doubted. I think i failed Him. I disappointed Him over and over again. I am ashamed of myself. This wasn't supposed to happen. I mean, I'm like the older batch of IGNITE and yet... i couldn't even answer that question confidently. I couldn't bring myself to lift up my hand when Pastor Rajan asked who is sure where they'll be when they leave earth. I didn't want to lie. I am/was a failure. There are people who are younger in Christ more spiritually matured than me. oh. and yes i know, some ppl will look at me differently and say i should be very firm in Christ and don't know what else they will think. lol. i guess that's the price for being honest? hahha.
About two weeks ago, my friend in KL told me i have backslidden. i was indignant, although deep down, i know what he said is true. lol. It was the pride, the self-righteousness lurking inside me that i was not aware of. another yes, i am sensitive and very self-defensive.
Anyway, i want to change. Seriously. it's hard not having ppl to lead you in your faith when you're away from your comfort zone. It's also hard to keep my faith strong and not lose sight of the one that should have been my top priority.
I will blog about happier times soon? I hope.
and happy easter anyways =)
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❤ 8 months later14 years ago
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Isaiah 5313 years ago
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:: of the years gone by ::3 years ago
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pre order - only RM4515 years ago
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Jesus I Love You ......15 years ago
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=)14 years ago
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BLIND10 years ago
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First Week!13 years ago
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~cHaPteRz oF LiFe~15 years ago
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God, my Fortress9 years ago
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Friends Feelings12 years ago
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Random thoughts...16 years ago
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The Glory of God13 years ago
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Living Sacrifice14 years ago
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Of who drives me…7 years ago
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Vacation Bible School 201212 years ago
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JYJ - In Heaven11 years ago
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Update lagi tak?13 years ago
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:)13 years ago
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20 comments:
Yeah u'r d oni 1. U r jst terrible. Is wat i could say but no, u aren't. Many or at most a stagnant number experienced wat u r experienceing. Acting upon knowing, is wat makes a difference. Sum dun, sum 'try' & sum jst do. Which r u?
The God we serve is very patient. Use me as the example.
How many times God ask me to "go!" but I didn't? How many times did I say I will "do" but I just leave it aside. I failed Him too. How many times have I denied Him? How many times I doubted my faith?
Endless countings...
By lying of certain things and denying Him is bad enough. The sin I've committed is so great that even God forgives me I still hate myself for this.
I don't deserve God's love. But He is every ready to comfort me when I cry out to Him, when I seek Him, when I need Him.
I repented. From that one day onwards, I pledge I will not let go of Him ever again. And until today I still hold on to that faith. Relying on God 99.99% on everything. That 0.01% is for me to think what I should be doing to my life.
Well, I am the opposite of you that It's easier when I am away from my comfort zone. Though I don't have people from our church to guide me now but I have been taught by God by reading His word. I don't feel lonely like I thought I would when I first came here. Though I still miss home, miss family, miss church, miss Ignite, miss friends, miss food etc but I'm doing all right. I pray more often, read more often, seek God more often, Hear His voice more often.
I know it's hard to be away from home and there's no leader/parents to guide you but remember Holy Spirit is always here.
You can do it girl.
If you need help or anything at all, I am always here. Even if I can't help you I have ppl that can be trusted. The best is ask Pastor. If scared then ask your leaders.
I talk a lot about Ignite and God's goodness and miracles upon miracles to people here. And they just enjoy hear me talking and ask me to tell more
Guess that's all I have to say. Better stop before my comment is longer than your post. Or is it? Lolx
haha ~ I think it's important to be firm and believe that we will go to heaven 1 day, but this is between we and GOD Himself. There is no need to prove to anyone as long you believe that He love you - despite who you are. I know people have high espectation on you because you are such a nice and wonderful girl =) but certain people's espection might be rediculously high for you, which will make you really painful if you trying to hit the espectation (I once has this problem). You might having the problem in managing the freedom you have now but I think things will stable down very soon. Just be who you are and be a better person every new day =)
haha. thx guys. i am really touched. actually i don't know what to reply. but i will do my best to follow Him. I need to feel alive again =]
hey.. i was like u.. all prides come first.. but then God really hunmble me down.. don worry.. it's not too late yet.. and HE is always there for u! Don worry.. God will forgive u if u sincerely wanna change.. and I believe u will!.. all the best man..
i was like u.. prides before God.. but God really humbles me down.. don worry.. i believe HE will be always there for u.. don worry..it's not too late yet.. He'll forgive u as long u sincerely want to change.. and i BELIEVE u will.. rite? take care man.. God bless..will pray for u..
thx bro =)
thx for the encouragement all
hey hey you you...bah
actually this question is very common among the christians. but the thing is u have to be strong and firm. we noe dat we love Him so much. we obey Him. we follow everything that the bible says. and yet we still have questions and doubts. but why? maybe because we have sinned? we disobey Him? is it because we have done something bad den we think we dun deserve to go to heaven?
we are all sinners. but Jesus died on the cross for our sins. remember dat our God is a loving God. hell is never a place for us. God did not created hell for us. where ur faith lies will very much depends on where u are heading. continue to pray and trust in Him.
haha. i think all ur comments is longer than my post. lol
syok la. now tell me who is ur biggest fan? wahahaha.
hahhaha. go do fan club for me XDXD
Is there a member's requirement to join?
hahaha. really or not? later i really go do one eh. nono. not one. one in friendster, one in facebook, and one in blogger. lol.
XD XD
requirement is to make urself known and pay member fees every month lol.
so.. who are u? i'm ver sure it'll go unanswered tho.
Oh? Is dat so? Hmm. hehe. Hey, dats not very nice 2 say now izit. Assumin dat i wun reply. hehe. Since u asked, i am who i am. Precise, yes?
Well, pig, the question that u asked has probably gone through the thoughts of all human being and perhaps all living things in this 'peculiar' world.Its part of a PROCESS all will have to go through. Trust me, u aint alone.. so now stop worrying and continue to live the process. xD
there's only one person who's peculiar and keeps caling me pig when i have much nicer names =.=
hahha. i noe. but sometimes we have to stop and think also lol. thx for ur encouragement, someone piggier than me =P
well, the pig is michelle and that someone who is piggier will be tan sze-fan? oh wait, is that right? i wonder... xD*evil grin*
ahhhh. good one. but i have a better one. that would be an underwater creature, jiew hu the great who's mutated into a pig. *eviller grin*
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